Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hey @Former-Member-girl ..... glad you've got that kettle on ..... I'm gonna need a coffee and a rest to make it through the rest of the day ...

Wedding went beautifully ❣  A few dropped balls but you would have had to know what had been organised to understand what was out if place or less than expected .... but the mood and comfort le peel of the day ended up being spot-on .... and who can ask for more ?

WH was on his best behaviour, and actually gave up 1 x gym workout - probably wrote it off against the stuff he had to lift and carry for the morning - and 1 x jog for the day, which is sayin' something .... albeit he probably got up an hour earlier than his normal early hour for the first jog of the day ....

I wasn't expecting an emotional fall-out so soon after the wedding, but I'm feeling heavy today .... not for the fact that D1 is married now and moving on, although that will be in there somewhere ... but I'm trying to define it.  

Think I have been keeping the ed in my peripheral vision as much as possible, but the wedding has caused WH and I to pull together for the day .... and he was trying sooo hard to be his best self while still being under the influence of the ed, which prevents him being his best self .... if that makes sense .... and it was so bitter-sweet that I am in tears even writing it down .... he even had a teaspoonful of wedding cake ❣

... and he has been the same with the other kids today, being the "mother hen".  He made us beautiful breakfast , one you couldn't get him to eat in a pink fit .... and he doesn't seem to see any contradiction in that .... making a "family breakfast" while keeping himself outside of it, but eating his food at the same table with us ....  it's not "eating together" in the real sense. 

He then set up a family movie and plied them with chips and ice-cream, neither of which he will go near., It's comfort feeding them to soothe his own emotions I think.

So difficult to process the here-but-not-here and engaged-but-not-engaged.  It's like an invisible wall, and he's stuck on the other side without realising it.  It's what I have had to keep myself distracted from, but the distractions have all disappeared for the moment .... we have passed them all .... gearing up to go away will be the next one .... so the joy of the wedding is confused with the grief of the illness in this moment ....

Think I will sleep some of it off for a while .... thank you for holding me in the light .... really need it in this moment .... 😔

💐💐💐

[Faith-and-Hope]

Coffee's up ❤☕

Who's having what ?

🌷💜💕

[Former-Member]

A quick tea please@Faith-and-Hope, I don't know if I'm anxious, overwhelmed...feeling a bit agitated I guess, mix with paranoia, fighting triggers at school, pushing past it..maybe I'm disassociating to cope with week events ahead...grr. going to busy myself!

[Faith-and-Hope]

Have something here called Mountain Tea @Former-Member ..... good for the respiratory system ..... breathe deeply ..... hope we help to keep you grounded ....

❤

[Former-Member]

Beautiful mountain tea sounds :ok_hand:! @Faith-and-Hope..hmm I will bring up at my sesh tomorrow..horrible state..no matter..I wonder if it's normal to be paranoid or if anxiety plummets when exposed to groups I don't click with..

[Faith-and-Hope]

Think we all feel some paranoia under those circumstances @Former-Member ..... but you know what ? People like that are so self absorbed that their focus doesn't stay on you or anyone else ..... they are so insecure or mirror-bound you're off their radar .....

Try to switch off from it if you can. Your attention is better spent on gorgeous people who you love and who love you .... or at least on those in more need whom you can help support in their circumstances, even with just a smile on a cloudy day !

💜💕

[Former-Member]

I like that @Faith-and-Hope, bringing it back to what's important...it came to mind...'mirror, mirror on the wall'....lol..
Hmm yes definitely not in their league!
Mirrors lie! 😉

[Shaz51]

@Faith-and-Hope you are a  awesome friend xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Shaz51 .....

Wow ! Is that for me ?? So special ..... but you're an awesome friend too .....

What can I find for you ? Hmmm ..... stay tuned .....

How are you going @Anony18 ? Was the dance concert this weekend ? Or am j upside down confused ..... 😳😆

[Anony18]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope 

Just read your post about the wedding. Glad to hear it went well and beautifully. A great big event is not a proper one with some minor hiccups. That's what I think anyway  End of day it is about the people there who make it great and the atmosphere...what beautfiul weather was it here in WA over the weekend!

I am ok. Really tired. Had the dance rehearsal yesterday from 12pm to 11pm. The concert is on Wednesday and that be a bigger day! My dance teacher sent me a message saying people were commenting on how amazing I was. It was such a warm fuzzy.

On another note - haven't heard from my partner in over a week and not sure if he be back for my concert. I do hope he is coming cause be nice for him see me dance & hope that puts a smile to his face. Surprisingly I haven't been angry or upset about his lack of contact or response to my text. More concern. Of course i have those rare moments I am sad cause more so I miss him terribly and the uncertainty when I will see him next so there isn't any countdown (if that makes sense).

Maybe I am feeling a bit more at peace cause I know he was overseas a week ago and he mentioned he may stay longer. Cause of things at home and his depression he is currently feeling need to be away from Perth. But then again maybe it is cause I made the decision to take things day by day instead. I am unsure if I am being silly not feeling upset or angry.