I’d had enough in 2013 and tried to end it all but was stopped by a stranger and ended up in a mental health hospital for 2 weeks. I was diagnosed with PTSD and MDD. 6 years later I tried again 3 times. I thought I’d recovered and regained my life. But 2 years ago my only child, 30, completely cut me off.
2 weeks ago I had access to something that should work. I struggled over the thought of ending my physical, emotional and mental pain forever. I convinced myself to give it 24hours. Contacted my Psychiatrist and had a long conversation. He is now away for 4 weeks.
But what still bothers me is why and how do I get to this stage of wanting to escape and end it all? I'm trying to make a safety plan but I can’t identify my triggers. I have no friend to confide in. Last time I told my husband he was furious that I would do that to him.