Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

[Shaz51]

 I don't like the sound of your weight loss  @Former-Member - please be sure to mention it to your GP. , stress does affect us in many ways my friend

I seem to be putting on weight as my mum is losing weight

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Shaz51 @Former-Member.  

Hi all @Zoe7 @Maggie @Whiteknight and anyone else interested.

I mentioned a couple of days ago about a newspaper article which upset me.  I would like to share some of that article here and would be interested in your comments.  I was going to mention the name of the person, but I'm not sure whether the community rules allow that.  I read them, but still not sure.  Anyway, I have not put the name here, just in case.

............................................................................................................................

I read in a major national newspaper a couple of days ago where a well known often outspoken identity insists that most rape is just "bad sex" and she poured scorn on the idea that victims of rape can suffer from PTSD.  She said that most rapes don't involve any injury whatsoever.  She also stated that most rapes are 'just lazy, just careless, just insensitive",  often involving spouses.  She says "instead of thinking of rape as a particularly violent crime, we should be thinking about it as non-consensual sex, or in other words bad sex where there is no communication and no tenderness".

Wow ... now that's a great way of looking at it! Honestly what is this woman basing her information and thus opinions on?  These sorts of attitudes make me so damned angry!  I thought things were improving for women (and men too) about how rape is viewed.  But if this sort of attitude, coming from a well known female identity, becomes accepted in the community it will set things back dramatically. All it takes is for people to accept this nonsense as truth, and we will again have a situation where rapes are rarely, if ever, reported and the victims not seeking much-needed treatment. 

How on earth can she say this? Has she ever been raped?  Does she know what it feels like to be violently raped in your own home, your pleas ignored, your rights denied, your  body broken and violated, being knocked senseless and left to fend for yourself? To be left damaged, in physical pain and emotional turmoil.  Some of that damage remains with you for life.  

There is absolutely no way that what I endured could ever be passed off as just 'bad sex'.  In reality, I would be seriously degrading a normal loving sexual relationship, by calling it sex at all. Because it had none of the usual hallmarks of sex. It was purely a violent attack on someone who was unable to fight off a far stronger combatant.

Rape is a major violation of our physical body, and it also has hugely detrimental effects on our mind and our very soul.  It's a criminal act by law, and should be considered as such and punished for what it is. Rape is a serious abuse of power and trust no matter who the perpetrator is (spouse, stranger, family member) and it should never be tolerated (nor its significance downplayed) in a civilised society. 

How dare this woman pour scorn on the notion that victims do not suffer PTSD as a result of rape. National studies report that around one of every three rape victims develop PTSD at some time in their lives. This sort of attitude makes me so very angry and frustrated. It also makes me concerned for those who face rape in future.  It's little wonder rape is so rarely reported, even now.

Sherry 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I have no words @Former-Member
😔 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💐

[Shaz51]

WOW

@Former-Member

[Whiteknight]

Hi @Former-Member

In 1979-1980 I worked as a prison office rin the notorious Pentridge Jail Melbourne. It was a terrible environment and I was only 21yo then. So I wasnt aware a/ of my illnesses and B/ my sensitive nature.

After 3 years of working there my brother took his life and I decided on a change of my life. I ahd the view "if you cant beat them, get away from them". This view remains to this day. I moved to the country in a low population area for less chance of contact with crime.

My lovely wife has a fear of cruelty to animals. I love animals too, even more than humans mostly. We watch TV and a whale is taken by Japanese whale hunters or a pet is hurt, anything like that she rushes to the remote to turn the channel.

Both these examples are positive ways you can help to cope with these cruel things in life. We wont ever change them, we have to escape from them.

This means placing these people in a category- the nasty bad naive category.

This also means in your mind to demean some humans, which is hard if you have a basic respect for all humans. I dont now, I see many of them even up to 70-80% of them have flaws I cannot deal with. I have a brothe rof a friend, I became his facebook friend, all was going well until he described his hunting trip in gory detail. That was it!!. Another just last night posted a pic of Michelle Obama and described her as an ape- gone!!

We can insulate ourselves from this a lot but not fully. We will always turn on the TV and listen to this rubbish attitude but we can control it mostly by our remote Sherry. After a while you will feel much better. It will preserve your kind soul and not upset youself so often.

Some humans arent humane.

WK

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member and @Whiteknight

I liked that saying @Whiteknight that you quoted "if you can't beat them get away from them". I always found the old more common saying of this as a resignation of weakness of character. I would rather be alone with my values in tact than dancing in the crowd as a puppet.

It's takes strength of character to care for those who are mistreated - whether that be animal or human. My concern these days is people care more for animals than each other.....both humans and animals can turn. Both humans and animals can be loyal. 

I wouldn't be concerned about the article @Former-Member - such shoddy opinionated journalism is meant to gain attention and raise sensationalism to promote someone looking for money and the fame that brings it. I just ignore it for the rubbish it is. It is well known in the mental health field how sexual assault can be traumatic and the effects of it (resulting in low self esteem). This was the reason my daughter became ill to start with - but it was severe "psychological" abuse by her ex ( he was a psychopath) that brought her to despair and a near attempt. This article won't change this knowledge. Don't let it get to you xx

[BlueBay]

Omg @Former-Member
I need to read this another time. I started but I got a bit triggered. It's not our fault that we were abused. We didn't deserve or agree to sex when we were sbused. I didn't consent to having sex at nine years old. I didn't even know what it was.
I'm sorry I will be ok. Just need time out. But I do want to read it all but maybe not right now.
Xxx

[BlueBay]

@Former-Member I wish you could tell us the name of the outspoken identity. I'm so angry.
❤️ @Former-Member xxx

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope, @Shaz51, @Whiteknight, @Former-Member, @BlueBay.

I appreciate your responses. I must say I've been stewing about it for a couple of days. Decided to get my thoughts out rather than bottling them up.

My apologies for triggering you BlueBay. Obviously it was not my intention to trigger anyone, which is why the trigger warning is on this thread I guess. Although it is on public record via a major newspaper, I am not sure that the rules and regulations would permit me to name the author of the comments. Perhaps the moderators could advise if it is permissable or not? I have no problems putting the name forward if its allowed. As I said its on public record already. But I dont want Sane to get into possible trouble for me discussing one persons warped views about rape.

Enigma, it may be sensationalist journalism and attention seeking by this person, but people read this nonsense and are influenced by these views. Its very unfortunate.

Whiteknight - Its an interesting fact that, although it is common and well known that people with PTSD tend to avoid things which are likely to trigger them. But my psych has told me that some people with PTSD have an unhealthy need to read all about things to do with their trauma causing event. Its a part of the 'hyper arrousal' and hyper vigilance thing. We must read and be aware of everything related to it. Its a part of our self preservation and keeping ourselves safe. I know it is not well known, mainly because everyone is very aware of 'avoidance' behaviour, and this side of things seems contradictory.

I take on board all of your advice and reassurance that this is not the generally accepted view by normal and decent people. Thank you.

Sherry xx

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member
I'm ok. I just got really angry when I read what this person said.
Take care sherry. Xxx