Daily goals, motivation and check in

[frog]

My overarching goal for today is to get some balance between caring for myself and ticking off things on my list.

It sounds basic but I have a long standing habit of putting myself last.

So for starters I'm going to do my physio exercises *before* walking the dogs.

Then I'm going to do some study *before* I do grocery shopping.

And after that I'll review and see what I need ... early night is a priority.

Does anyone else have this habit - taking care of others, the house, the pets then getting to the end of the day tired and grumpy because you've missed out? There are times when I've felt like there's no room in my life for me. It's a work in progress.

How bout you @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Teej @TheVorticon @Twinklelight and fellow goal setters ... what are you up to today?

[eudemonism]

@frog if you see it for what it really is and accept that, It may help. When I'm feeling run down, I fall back on the basic stuff, the basic thoughts which explain how it really is. Often it's not good, often it's a grind, often there's compromise. I also find that talking about my thoughts and feelings surrounding the matter, with an accepting and understanding person, and getting validation and some kind counselling in return often helps. But basically, it comes down to getting on with it, too the best of my abilities. Eude.

[Twinklelight]

Yes @frog I do the same thing. Especially having a family to look after.  I never have time to myself and I do shut myself in my room everyone gets shitty about it saying that I'm selfish.  Which I dont get it.  I'm at it 24/7 and the only day I sort of get off is Sunday when hubby is home and they just dont see that I want time to myself. It's hard. I wish i had more time to myself but i cant. 

I want to start walking my dog but it's very wet each day at the moment and studying...... well ..... i cant get my head to function that much yet. What are studying @frog

[Twinklelight]

Thanks @frog for letting me see this thread. 

My goals today is to make sure my daughter has a good birthday and I'm hoping the family dont stress me out to much. So this morning iv got some cooking to do ready for the party, which has to be in inside,  which I hate coz I have a small house.  But I'm wearing nice clothes and got make up on just so my family thinks there's nothing wrong with me.  All the effort I have to put in to hide my sad side. ☹

[Sans911]

@Twinklelight

All the best today as it sounds like a busy day for you. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let your family affect your mood. Focus on being the great mum you are to your daughter. Your family may not be able to change, but you can. They may understand your mental illness, but you can. You go on focusing on you and your daughter. They'll only be a few hours and then they'll be gone.

[Appleblossom]

I totally get that problem with always being last in priorities @frog @Twinklelight

I am later in life and am deliberately saying to my cat... I will feed myself, or get my coffee before I feed you.  I only started doing it this year. For 30 years I felt the responsibility to keep peace in the home and provide holidays, enrichment and pets etc.  I know my cat is well cared for as he is fussy with food.  Fussier than I have ever been.  I was treated worse than the family dog in my marriage. It did my head in and my neck.  The right to say "no" has come very late in life for me.  Keeping the peace is also the responsibility of children and partners.  We have legal ages of transition to adulthood, but excess concern with legalism has torn away the usual natural manner of people growing up gradually.  

Somehow it has become normal, for a mother NOT to be seen as a person.  Guilt tripping and demanding is very high on many people's agendas.  All the ridiculous assertiveness is not making people more happy.  Celebration of Mother's day is a poor substitution for general respect.

[Shaz51]

Yes @frog, totally know what you mean , my mum used to say that I care for everyone else and then no time for myself 

That are different stages and ages in life too my friend , everyday is different, I find doing little self care for myself works better for me xxxx 

[frog]

@TwinklelightI hope the party went well. It sounds like you are really devoted to your daughter. Wishing you some down time and rest post party. Kids parties were always pretty stressful for me, though I gave it my best shot for my 2. They're big now, though my nearly 16 yo boy still likes to have a 'LAN party' ie they all get together with their computers, and all I have to do is keep them fed. It's at least as loud as little kids, though!

I'm having that oh-no-it's-almost-Monday-where-did-my-weekend-go feeling. I'm studying community work at TAFE. It's been nearly 20 years sinced I last studied and I'm much slower than I was expecting! I'm focusing on having a health meal and early night, so if I get some more study done, great, and if not just have to let it go.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Teej, @frog, @Shaz51, @Appleblossom, @Sans911, @Twinklelight, @eudemonism  and everyone on previous pages or around today,

I've been sleeping days and days away for about the past month. Yesterday was horrendous. Not much has been getting done for a while. But I wanted to post here to celebrate the fact that I am feeling quite a bit better today. No major achievements but at least a few things done:

• wake at midday after 12 hours sleep, get up and stay up
• breakfast and meds
• redye my hair (it was two-tone blonde/grey from neglecting it so long)
• shower (after too long without one)
• make the bed
• folded clothes I'd left in a pile over recent days
• forum

This afternoon I will be getting out of the flat to visit a friend. It will be good to be out on the buses and on the street, seeing the world, instead of the inside of the flat so much.

Hope there are small or large achievements in everyone's day today.

[Former-Member]

Nice one @Mazarita Glad to hear you're feeling quite a bit better today. Hope you enjoy your afternoon 🌈