having a bad morning

[Faith-and-Hope]

There is a run of fish in the river here just now .... and everybody is here .... these black birds I think are moor hens, the obligatory seagulls .... 😆 ... and a pelican has just flown long and low across the water to join them ....

[BlueBay]

Are there any moderators on atm? @NikNik are you around?

[Faith-and-Hope]

And here come the dolphins !! Late to the party, but bigger than everybody else ..,, big splashes ...,

😊

[Change123]

@BlueBay

I'm so sorry I'm ranting about a boss with obvious dimentia getting my rage going and your feeling like crap but you still help me!

@sadgirl you are a real treasure! 🙂

Also I know how you feel about your hubby, mine has been supportive but lectured me for things that havent even happened yet becatse we have a social event for Melbourne cup today.

I dont know must be the Xmas spirit hard at work everyone around me seems so full of stress and snappy.  Atleast I'm not the only one who got upset by my idiot boss today, 4 other people walking around wanting to smash things so considering my BPD  I'm probably coping better than I thought. 

Inregard to your finances can you show where the money has gone so he wont blame you?  If not maybe keep a spreadsheet with all your outgoings so you can prove to him.  I know we should have to but I'm gathering he thinks its you becuase we are impulsive and according to a lot of the websites spend money like its going out of fashion - I dont, infact from years of having to budget very tightly everytime I have a WANT not a need I will say to my partner "have we got enought for me to do this"and he always snaps at me of course we do stop asking.  So at least we never argue about money and he does the budget.

[utopia]

@BlueBay. You don't need to fix the bill issue today. Step away from the bills and go for a brisk walk with Jersey.
On a hard day - don't make it harder by working on things that bring you down.
Bugger it. Your husband is an adult. Let him sort it out - while you are elsewhere.

[BlueBay]

@Change123 don't be sorry, these things happen.

It's okay I think I need to work out what to do - trouble is I can't 😞

I don't buy impulsively, I don't buy online.  I can't remembe the last time i bought myself something.  Lately the money just goes to daily shopping, food, groceries, petrol, bills etc.

We just can't seem to get on top of this problem.  And what annoys me off the mmost is that hubby will not do the internet banking (he says he doens't know how, even though i have showed him so many times) so therefore I need to keep a track of how much we have and that's what happened just before.

I wish my hubby was different where he could just take on all the finances and not have me deal with it at all.  it just stresses me out so much.  I think it's becasue of the BPD anything little I explode into a fit of emotinal roller coaster.

we did a spreadsheet ages ago, and for quite a few years now most of our bills are done through fortnightlhy payments; that way i don't have to worry about it. 

Oh, don't mind me, i am having one of those stupid, crazy, PMT days or looks like it will turn into a PMT week!!! from hell !!!

[BlueBay]

@utopia

I am struggling so much.  I need to get out, i need to drive somewhere.  Will this struggle ever end? 

Need to go and get something for dinner before Mr Huff 'n Puff gets home.

wish i was back in hospital, in my little cocoon room. all by myself just for me

[utopia]

You don't need a cocoon room @BlueBay. Just jump in the car - take Jersey - & just go and drive out into the countryside. Stop when youfeel a cconnection. Then hop out of the car. And breath that air. Get it deep into your lungs. And release. Sit down and just listen to the insects and birds and wind in the grass.
Sometimes the best way to get grounded - is literally to sit on the ground and just feel yourself taking root to that place. Recognise that you are part of that landscape. Just sit quietly and breath.

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @BlueBay

I am here for the next couple of hours, not sure when NikNik is back. I am so sorry to hear your not doing well today, but was touched by how much everyone cares about you, how can I help?

[Faith-and-Hope]

I'll second that @utopia !!

💜🌿🌲🍃 @BlueBay