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27 Apr 2016 05:45 PM
27 Apr 2016 05:45 PM
Hi @Silenus @Former-Member @Decadian
Thanks guys for your support.
Therapy is hard work physically and mentally. It is exhausting, draining and right now I have a horrible headache. I am so tired for yesterday's session and even work today.
I am struggling to cope with life. But I am still here!! 🙂 But it's bloody hard. To go through trauma, stress, childhood abuse, what I am anxious about, finances, not much communication with hubby; BPD, depression - it takes a toll on my body, mind and soul.
This morning I wasn't sure if I could get through the day and really wanted or was thinking about suicide to end the pain, anger, emotions - but it didn't win.
@Silenus Thank you for the drink - I really needed it and how did you know I drink Gin & Tonic?? You know what? you put a smile on my face when I read that post. I had a quiet laugh to myself 🙂
How you explained the luggage is so true - the more you carry with you the heavier it gets - and that's how i feel with my stuff. It's heavy and I can't handle it anymore.
@Decadian I know you understand how difficult it can be. I do feel I am at my tether. I feel it's over but you know my children mean the world to me so I'm here still.
@Former-Member - your name sounds like me right now - my name is Jo and I am jumping from one problem to another!!!! Thanks for caring.
Thank you everyone for keeping me here and safe today. I really need friends like you all xxx
27 Apr 2016 05:56 PM
27 Apr 2016 05:56 PM
That's what I love about online communities and our support networks in the Really Real... when the bags get too heavy, there's always baggage handlers to help carry...
I'm glad I brought a smile to your face. A clown has to be good for something... hahaha... 🙂
Be gentle with yourself, @BlueBay. In between the joyful jumping and happy times, life can be a real marathon slog. That's when you need your strength the most.
As always, hugs and happy vibes beaming your way...
27 Apr 2016 07:18 PM
27 Apr 2016 07:18 PM
@Silenus I really love that idea about our post trauma - whatever it was - is like left or lost luggage that we can't get rid of
I feel like writing a short story about it - actually - I almost have
We all have stuff we don't want - ah yes - but how gutsy it is to have therapy.
And yes @BlueBay - although I can't possibly to know what you really feel like - I know life can be hard - and I feel myself that it is better to work through it.
Decadian
30 Apr 2016 09:54 AM
30 Apr 2016 09:54 AM
Anxiety levels high this morning. Feeling very toey (is that a word). Don't feel right in my body.
I don't know what's wrong. I am so emotional, I have to have accupuncture done soon - I think i need a really good cry
Need to get out of here
30 Apr 2016 11:57 AM
30 Apr 2016 11:57 AM
You are having a hard time @BlueBay
It's Saturday today - can you take some time out - get to a private place and have a big cry and get it out of your system
Tears contain some kind of negative hormone that is released when you cry - and it comes out in your tears
Yes - it is horrible to cry - it really does a number on our sinuses and makes our eyes red etc - but as rotten as it is I have found I feel better after a good cry
You are battling - and we care
Decadian
30 Apr 2016 12:40 PM
30 Apr 2016 12:40 PM
Hello sadgirl,
Sending you a big warm hug.
I also find my emotions are always at their worse in the mornings. Especially if there are worries and hurts lying heavily on my mind - constant worry sends my anxiety spiralling so I try and bring back my focus on those small good things living in the moment. Distraction is good. Is there any pleasant pastime or activity you can do today that may lift your spirits? Or would talking about what is worrying you help?
We are here for you and we do care. Hope the anxiety eases for you as the day goes on.
30 Apr 2016 01:06 PM
30 Apr 2016 01:06 PM
Hi @Decadian
I don't know why my anxiety is so high - okay maybe I do. Too much to worry about finances, work, going away for our 30th wedding anniversary soon and haven't paid off our accommodation yet. Supposed to be a happy time but all i want to do is cry. I've stopped for a few minutes ........ i am crying. i just feel so damn depressed, will it get better. i feel overwhelmed with stress. i have to go outside in the garden.
I had to go before and have accupuncture - well i cried there as well. The poor guy must have thought i was a real idiot - but he understands my mental health issues and was good. I struggled to relax while in there today but towards the end I managed to feel sleepy and relaxed.
home now and i need to stay busy.
Thank you for caring so much; it means so much to me to know that there are people out there who i have never met but understand and care. i don't feel so alone now.
thanks xxx
30 Apr 2016 01:09 PM
30 Apr 2016 01:09 PM
Hi @Former-Member
Thank you for your big warm hug
I think that's the problem; I stress and worry so much during the day that by night time I go to bed still with these worries. The mornings are always emotional for me, maybe it's something i need to talk to my psych about.
Life my spriirts - i don't know at the moment. I feel that nothing can lift my spirits. I am meant to be going out for dinner tonight for a girl at work who has resigned but i can't be bothered. i prefer to sit on the couch and stay under my blanket. but i know i have to go as i am being picked up and hubby is coming too.
it's hard to put on that brave happy face when inside it's not so happy.
Thanks for listening and caring.
xxx
30 Apr 2016 02:02 PM - edited 30 Apr 2016 02:03 PM
30 Apr 2016 02:02 PM - edited 30 Apr 2016 02:03 PM
Your welcome my friend and I understand totally what you mean about how the weight of stress and worries without a break can get us so anxious and depressed. It is totally draining. It would be a good idea to discuss these worries with your psych and try and give your mind a break from them.
I like you don't feel like going out when feeling down - but I usually find that if I do and engage in good conversation, company, food, fun and laughter - forgetting about those worries for awhile is the best therapy! Tell yourself that you will put your worries aside for awhile and will allow yourself to enjoy the evening. You will feel much better for it tonight! Always here for you Have fun!
04 May 2016 09:08 AM
04 May 2016 09:08 AM
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