Hey
@BlueBay. Sounds like the depression is really giving you a bad time today. Sometimes life can really suck, when you feel like giving up, this is when you fight harder not to let the depression rule. Try to block out the words from your mother - yes, they're cruel, hateful, hurtful. No, she shouldn't have said them, it's quite possible she feels just as guilty for saying them, but can't retract them, doesn't know how to. sadgirl the words can't hurt you, the meaning can. My mum used to frequently tell me sticks and stones etc. Each time someone hurts you with what they say, tell yourself over and over, they're just words. Ignore the message, change the words in your mind. Mum said you betrayed the family, change that to, the family was betrayed by action, not me. The action taken led, to further action to counter-act the original action. The original action was the betrayer, the further action was right. Possibly you were not supposed to do whatever you did, ignore that, you did what was best for you. Mum possibly tried to control you, stop you for whatever reason. This could've been to stop further embarrassment for her. If this is the case (remember I'm guessing), but if she felt embarrassed, this is her problem, not yours. If she failed to protect you, she is the betrayer. You are the victim, don't take her blame, put the blame back on her. Say aloud, Mum it wasn't my fault, you failed me. Keep repeating this, especially the 'mum, YOU failed me'. This was another part of my therapy to heal after my brother stole my childhood. I had to learn to tell him, he was the failure, not me. Remember too, I never faced him, never have, no intention of. I'm not scared, just don't feel like wasting my time on a waste of time. He is a wasted space, my life and time is far more important than him. I'm stronger - yes, but I don't have to prove that - I KNOW that. My parents are deceased (thankfully), don't miss them, nothing to miss.
