having a bad morning

[Former-Member]

hi all,

so much going on for everyone at the moment. yes abuse from an early age seems to do so much.. damage.. i'm scared to learn anymore about it... but at the same time i'm drawn to understanding on a rational level... away from the emotional level so that maybe i can give myself more of a break... agh no sense to be made tonight! 

are you ok @Appleblossom?

@Faith-and-Hope your optimism and level of hope for the future is very inspiring. I do hope that your husband finds some balance and wellness in life so that things can be smoother for you all.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Former-Member 💕

Yes .... amazing recovery stories here ..... incredible strength, endurance, finding the way forward, and helping others along the path.

Finding so much to aspire to .... if I can be inspiring ... feel very honoured ....

💗

[BlueBay]

Hi @Appleblossom 

How are you this morning? I read your post, thank you for your comments. And I am sorry you are dealing with this trauma as well. My heart goes out to you.  I hope you are okay?

Happy to chat with you anytime 

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member

I hope my last few posts haven't triggered you 😞

For the past 6 yrs I was trying to hide it all away, not tell anyone apart from my support people.  I wouldn't and couldn't tell others.  It is one of the most horrible, heart breaking, disgusting things to have happen to a young child.  And I always cry for me and others who were abused as chlidren.  It makes me so sad to see how many children (like ourselves) are still being abused.  We as adults need to stand together and fight this, for ourselves but also for our own children and the children of the world.

@Former-Member I really hope you can get to have your children on Christmas Day, even if it's for a little while.  I can understand the anxiety you must be feeling 

[BlueBay]

@Faith-and-Hope

You are truly amazing  You have so much on your plate yet you are always on here giving me and everyone else encouragment, support, hugs etc etc.

I can't imagine what it's like for you with regards to your husband.  I really hope and pray he is okay with his eyes and that the appointment goes well.  

It's the best thing being on here - the support, encouragement and love we all give to each other at sometimes our lowest point in life. 

Thank you my friend for being such a beautiful caring person. Always happy to chat with you. xxxooo

[Decadian]

Hi @pip

My mother used to chant

Sticks and stones will break my bones

But names will never hurt me

When I'm dead and in my grave

You'll be sorry that your hurt me.

And yesterday I did some searching on line but could not find any more than what you have written - and I thought for a while if my mother had invented the rest because she had a rotten life herself - and was teased by her cousins and I think every word cut her - and she really pissed bad words on me and I wonder if these things are passed down through generations

Words hurt - my mother stopped her physical abuse of me because I started to fight back - but the emotional abuse continued into adult life and I left the family sometimes for years on end. I refused to let her know how she hurt me with words - but she kept them going

I am sorry you had to learn your mother died by having the police let you know. That's terrible but it was her choice - TS let me know my mother was dying at least - (TS tried to lay a guilt trip on me but I refused to wear it - after all - if people drive us away and we stay away we are honouring their choice.)

I am so glad you have a wonderful boyfriend who "boosts" you. I don't have that - the men in my life have not been supportive - so I am so pleased when I hear that someone else has

My mother's chant was that I would be sorry when she died - and I am sorry she had to live and die the way she did - but I don't feel guilty - I feel released.

It really does take hard work to overcome the past - but with the right people - we can

Thanks @pip

Decadian

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you so much @BlueBay ..... it is very comforting to be appreciated .... and as awful as our situation is, and other things I have battled through, I still feel like Jack amongst the Giants here .... so glad you can see me .... 🤗 ......  (thanks again for the hug emoji @Former-Member 👍🏼)

I am not a person who likes to hide the truth, or hide from the truth, if I can help it.  Having to remain secretive about my husband's condition is challenging to my own value system .... it's having to choose between a rock and a hard place so I can keep our family unit together as best I can whike we are waiting for an outcome regarding his health.

It is teaching me the empathy that comes with a lived experience ..... and this "secret" is nothing to what many of you have had to bear for many years .... often to keep a roof over your head and a family around you as children .... 

"Well done" doesn't even begin to cover it .....

💐🌷🌸🌺🌹🌻🌼🌾🍁🌿🐚💕

[Decadian]

Hi @BlueBay

I'm glad you took Jersey girl to the beach in the car -

Your hubby and sand in the car - oh boy - let him huffnpuff - let him have his OCD - you keep the house clean - that's your thing - and he still has to huffnpull - he must enjoy that or he wouldn't do it

And if he wants to vacuum the car - let him vacuum - (I could laugh till I hurt - he must lie that or it would not be a problem for him)

Sorry to laught - I have never seen the guy that I know of but I can just imagine Mr Huffnpuff - and I know it's not at all easy living with that

I hope you and Jersey girl had a great day at the beach

Dec

[BlueBay]

Hey @Decadian

Don't be sorry to laugh 🙂 cause I am too 🙂 🙂

It's ridiculous.  I know he loves his cars and wants to look after them but OMG - give me a break!!!

I don't huff and puff when he leaves shit everywhere at home.  He huffs and puffs when the kids don't switch the computer off at night, he talks so loud so I can hear "oh that's it I;m not going to shut the computer down anymore, like no one else lives here" - that's what he says.

Poor Jersey has to make sure she is half try before she gets back in the car - in case she shakes all the water and sand everywhere; and he a plastic cover for the back that he has to put the flap down so when Jersey jumps in and out she doesn't 'scratch the car' - OCD alright.

Anyway, I'm still taking Jersey to the beach when it's hot; she loves it and so do I.  Actually something funny - on saturday afternoon we took her down for a play as it was warm.  I threw the ball with those dog catcher things (don't know what they're called) and as I threw the ball the water and sand on the ball went all over hubby!!!  I could see from the corner of my eye that he wasn't impressed.  I can't help it, i was just throwing the ball to Jersey.  Maybe he needed to move to the other side of me!!!

OK, end of rant 🙂 🙂

[BlueBay]

@Decadian

You know those cups Mr Men & Miss Happy - they need to make one for Mr Huff 'n Puff !!! LOL