Night Shift

[Appleblossom]

Funny I had started to think about getting more work this week.  One lady asked me which school I was in, and I would like i or 2 sessions per week in a local school, but I cant afford (physically) to deal with any discipline problems.  I feel I have something to offer and it would be good for my mental health to work part-time. I cant see myself ever going full time again.

I looked online a while ago to try to get referred to a disability network and nothing was working and I got the run around so I let it go.  My son has been taking a lot of my attention and energy, but it might be time to try again.  I am not interested in sending out CVs until I know I have a promise of support for my neck. I would want to look at the physical layout of the place too. 

I think I really needed to immerse myself in this site for the year, though. It helped me put my position in perspective and update myself about current issues. Also helped me get through low times when I was feeling very isolated.

Tomorrow I have appointment with psychologist.  She is the same one whom I saw with Carers last year, but I focussed on son's needs and relationship. Now I have 10 sessions with her under a program for Forgotten Australians. The funding is for me and my issues, so I will address these things with her and also do a bit of an integrity check list of me dealing with all my oodles of past baggage to assess my mental  and emotional health. .. not bloody mood tools. 

@plasmo its great that you are feeling confident to take on more.  @eth is wise in saying take it slowly.  Better be good for the long term than crash and burn.

Hi @Mazarita I think your attitude is good and it sits well on you. Keep dignity with it. I am sure your footprint is light on this earth.  Did you hear about the Break free protest at Newcastle.  I played with the idea of going as I was more than half way there on my music weekend .. but thought it wiser not to.  But a 94 year old was there .... Yay

[eth]

@Mazarita I always think that the people I know who haven't had kids have birthed many other things into the world - like you with your creative projects.

[Mazarita]

Thanks for saying these kind things, @eth and @Appleblossom. I have had a sense of vocation with the arts since I was in my early 20s and have done endless low paid or unpaid work in the area, not just as an artist, but also in administration, curating of programs, sessional teaching in TAFEs, universities, community centres, and a homeless women's shelter. I chose not to have children because I could see it ending in disaster for them and me due to my mental and physical illnesses and lack of financial resources. I think it was a responsible decision but I know that women like myself are often viewed as less than worthwhile. Sometimes I feel very down on myself too about my perceived failures, other times I feel okay with where I fit into things.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Appleblossom

Have you considered work in Distance Education ?  It is far less physically demanding and doesn't involve the discipline problems.  They might be part time hours too.

Just a thought ...

[eth]

You are more than worthwhile to me @Mazarita.

@Appleblossom I hope it goes well for you with the psychologist.  10 sessions can achieve a lot when the therapist is good.

[Mazarita]

@plasmo, it's great that you have some ideas of possibilities for future work. I don't know you well but it sounds like @eth and @Appleblossom are giving good advice in taking things slowly, one step at a time. 

@Appleblossom, I just looked up the Break Free protest in Newcastle. I agree it's inspiring when the elders of the community get out to these things to add their voices to issues. Really hope the psychologist sessions go well for you. Sounds like you already know and trust this psychologist, which is a huge bonus.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, good to see you. How's your evening been? 

[eth]

Thanks for the talk again all.  Heading for bed once more, in hope.

[Mazarita]

Nighty night, @eth. 🙂

[Appleblossom]

I love my baby brother .. cos he was abandoned at 6 months, but I believe his 'make money' attitude and greed are not healthy for anyone, not his kids 9values are all skewed), not me (with all his silly competitiveness and digs and put downs) and not himself (with his cancer).

@Mazarita There is a consistency and calm integrity in how you have lived your life, despite all the ups and downs.  Please bury that belief inside.  It takes all types to make a world.

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope the main thing I would be useful (and interested in)  is music prac ... choir and ensemble and piano. Gotta be there.  In situ.

[Mazarita]

@Appleblossom, I often find it intense when the forum discussions turn to the DSP because of the stigma attached to it. I feel many of us have a tendency to scramble to justify our existence to others and to ourselves. It's understandable because of how much we are 'bashed' in the media and politics. Again I really appreciate your kind and sensible thoughts on this.