Night Shift

[Mazarita]

@Angels333, take it easy on yourself with the typing. Maybe try some deep breathing to help you relax into sleep? Hugs.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Where to draw the line is probably tricky for all of us @Appleblossom.  

When I am a bit confused about that, I try to stop and take a deep breath, and see if I have some sort of instinctive reaction underlying what is happening.  

The biggest tip someone gave me was that I am as important as the kids are.  I think we tend to get the guilts as mothers if we are not putting the kids first, but if it's about all of us being put "first", then our needs need to be considered in that moment too.

When I had MIL issues and kept getting bowled over by her (then) controlling nature and manipulations, I had to stop and work out where I kept falling into the same trap, and rehearsed different coping strategies in my mind.  Then I prepared things to say in advance, and learned them like lines.  Things like, "I will have to check my diary to see if I am free, and I will get back to you", and "I will have to talk it over with my husband before we decide".

It works with the kids too.  Some of mine are:

"I'm not sure that's fair".

"I'm not sure how I feel about what you just said".

"I want us to stop talking for the rest of the drive home (boundary) to give us a chance to settle down, because this communication is not happening very well".

The school have been very supportive of us so far, to their credit, but we have only just reached a point where the doctor and the school counsellor could start to work as a team.  I have been having to juggle them as separate entities up until now, because the real issue wasn't being recognised by the doctor.  Now they are on the same page, it's such a relief, but it's also late in the piece in terms of getting my daughter through her last year of school.  Still a rocky ride, but I am not having to be the driver.

[Former-Member]

Such a big family here on nightshift this week. Just can't keep up with everyone's background but love reading your posts (when they're not too sad).

Some of you are so good at keeping up, but for me..Have to keep it mostly one day at a time (present moment). Having trouble with memory too (not even 60 yet but dr says its the depression) - today i couldn't recall my street name for the first time ever when someone asked, not for ages (embarrassing).

So, please be patient with me guys & don't take offence (ha! that's funny, coming from me).

I've managed to push myself out the house to socialise 3 days in a row now. A first in a long time. It comes with all the Social Anxiety overthinking but actually did it. 4days including Pre-Op apt tomorrow (yes, decided to go through with it).

I'm still fighting remnants of this cold & asthma. Pesky exhausting process! Probably need ABs & they might cancel the day surgery biopsy next week.

Feel myself deflating today (energy), hope its temporary.


.

[Jacques]

Hi my virtual mum, how are you, i have missed you so much, i hope all is well with you.

I have had some up and down times, but always read your messages on here.

It is so nice to see you so active in the community, it is great to see your son finding his feet.

Hugs my virtual mum, you are in my thoughts often, thank you for thinking of me. I am so humbled

Jacques

[Jacques]

Hi @Angels333, how sweet of you, sending you good vibes too, i hope things go well with the tests, it must be very stressful not knowing

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member @Jacques 😊

Glad to hear all your news @Former-Member

Drifting off to sleep now.  I didn't get much sleep last night.

G'night all.❤️

[Appleblossom]

Dear @Jacques I miss you too. You are locked into the hard drive ... is that a nerdy form of affection???

After I returned from my musical weekend away, I noticed you were reducing your posting but I also dont want to over-react or meddle, so I wait and watch and check in.  Same as with my son at home.

Last week I had a throat and chest infection.  It was good to molly coddle myself a bit and call in sick to choir.  I am better now and feel so normal to be able to complain about ... just a cold ... lol

Thank you for your reply @Faith-and-Hope. It was very thoughtful.

My youngest is 23 and I am setting boundaries and being firm, but I had let things slip a lot as It was all I could to just keep him and me alive.  Tonight I did the rubbish goes in the bin and "please clear the table" line. "You are too old to be reminded for that".  I hate nagging but sometimes it has to be done. He has his own challenges and is doing really well considering.

[eth]

Thankyou so much for all the birthday wishes today folks.  It's been one of the best birthdays I've had for years and a large part of that is thanks to you all here.  Went out for lunch and dinner today after being cooped up here most of the time in recent weeks and just enjoyed myself.  No anxiety at all.  Such a break through.

Sending strength and peace to all those having difficult times.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @eth  I am glad it was a good birth-day.  I remember meeting you chatting late one night on this thread.  It was really good to find a parent with some similar values.

@Former-Member One thing I did was put my subscriptions on weekly digest. Then I could scroll through and reply to anyone I missed. I really wanted to be sure that I responded to anyone who needed it or was direct to me. 

Not an instant gratification girl ... I am very patient ... used to waiting ... we all use the site in the way that best meets our needs ... your own style is fine.  I think you are very brave in all that you have dealt with and my life is fairly calm at the moment ... you have heaps on.  Take care.

[eth]

I miss those chats @Appleblossom.  But I'm too tired to say much tonight.  Heading for bed shortly.  Hopefully we can connect again soon, we seem to be around at different times lately.

Goodnight everyone 🙂