Night Shift

[eth]

@Mazarita you've been getting out often lately and I think it's wise of you to let yourself have some space when you need it.  You can always do some meditation or mindfulness at home.  Will have a read back through this morning's conversation again now.

[Former-Member]

Hi @eth and @Mazarita as you know now I have emailed you both this morning regarding your previous posts, which have now been approved. Apologies again for the confusion 🙂

[Decadian]

Thanks for your comments @Faith-and-Hope

That terrible time is many years in the past but I still have moments - flashbacks and PTSD - but I have used everything possible to rise above it. However it never goes away completely

But it's having had all of this happen that brought me here and I have found so many wonderful people who understand and who are going through what I did - what I still do to a lesser extent - and it is something pretty special to be in a place that I can help other people when I am also helping myself

I feel for your daughter - I think I pretty well know the despair you are feeling - I would look at my son at times and I could sometimes see the future - not that I needed to be psychic or anything - my son did not fit into society and was into so much trouble

So - I know now there is more around to help troubled young people - how I wish this had been around when my son was a younger boy - he might have found help - but there wasn't much around at the time.

But whatever is going on with your daughter - she is the only one who can get out of that - if it helps to get her to go to Head Space or something like that - or Beyond Blue - I don't know how these things work but if young people can find a place where they can open up and do open up then it might help.

But when someone is rolled up in a psycholgical misery and having physical pain too - it would be easier to blame the physical pain because that is something people can see that - maybe identify with it - but this is confusing - and you know this.

It is incredibly difficult to know - to comment. I don't know what is bothering her - but it must be terribly hard for you. You must feel out of your depth - I really pray you can find some help for her

Decadian

[PeppiPatty]

oh @eth I must find your last dream....

How is everyone this morning? 

It;s good to see you all getting along so well.....Is @Faith-and-Hope a Mum? Please bear with me while I get my memories back.....

How are you @Mazarita and @Decadian ?

[eth]

Hi @PeppiPatty good to see you again.  How is your day today?

[Mazarita]

Hi @PeppiPatty, how is your day going? I'm much better overall than I was a few months ago and hugely better than when we first met almost a year ago on the forum. But today I am having mostly a rest day and just spending time here on the forum and doing a few things around the flat. May start early work on another video before too long and go for a walk later. Maybe not. I've given myself permission to just go with the flow for today. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Decadian @eth @Mazarita

Here's how it's going:

Daughter to school ✅

and on time for her test ✅

Walk to the river with a friend ✅

Sighted dolphins - not today 😏

Coffee ❗️✅

Walk back from the river ✅

Daughter 1 has a melt-down at me over our situation 😓

Daughter 3 Cc's me emails from school showing she's picking up her commitments ❗️✅✅✅

Son 2 went to class yesterday, driving lesson today ✅✅

Daughter 2 has been helping around the house ✅

Son 1 phoned last night, supportive of our situation ✅

Most of it is going well ...

[Angels333]

Oh wow, I love love this post @Faith-and-Hope

Your list just shows how hard it is to be a parent. Particularly if you are finding your way in the dark

I too have 3 kids and I empathize with you in the above list.

I had drug use in the home when I was growing up and I really can't do what I was taught to do, I have to battle daily to try and fit in and do the right things.

@Faith-and-Hope ot is clear that you love your kids but also to good that you know then, you know their moods and their lives. That's what kids need. It's not always easy but if you can walk the struggles with your kids then that's really great.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Angels333

It's sort of been like that for my husband growing up, only it wasn't drug use.  

His parents were a bit lost emotionally.  His father was so emotionally absent that he provided for the family financially, but wasn't actually parenting at all.  He was off living his own life to the side, totally self-absorbed.  

His mother became emotionally dependent on her children, so effectively they have had to parent her, and my husband was the natural leader amongst his siblings, so he became like the head of his family while he was still a child really ...

Having had no role-model, my husband has been learning how to be a father "on the job", and I am very proud of him for that overall.  His heart has always been in the right place.

The trouble now is that his eating disorder is affecting his emotional stability, and making him self-absorbed like his father.  I didn't understand the MI side of eating disorders before coming into this experience, and the ED is so well hidden, it has seemed to take forever to get through to anyone that our ship has been sinking over here.

I have just kept baling like mad, waving flags and blowing whistles wherever I could, and trying to keep everyone else afloat until the truth surfaced, which it is starting to do now,  Help is arriving by degrees, but it's still not easy, and we have quite a way to go yet.

Just gotta keep going ... 

You guys are helping me more than you know.  Thank you so, so much !  💌 ... ❤️❤️❤️

[eth]

@Faith-and-Hope you are so strong the way you persist and maintain your positivity in the face of all you deal with on a daily basis.  So glad help is starting to come your way, albeit slowly.  Sorry to hear about daughter 1's meltdown.