I want to be happy

[Manama]

So my partner and I have had a lot of problems in the relationship recently around cheating and after a lot of communicating and opening up we have started to work through it.

He has been trying his best to regain my trust and listening to me when I tell him how I need to be appreciated and treated and I can really see how much effort he's putting in.

My problem is that I should be happy, I should be able to see all his effort and be glad he's doing all he can but I can't stop being upset.

I don't know who else to talk to and I'm too embarrassed to go to my GP because really there's people out there struggling with more.

We also have 3 kids together- 11, 6, 5mths, so I need to figure it out for them.

How do you get help when you get too scared to talk to anyone about your struggles? Has anyone tried online counselling or any recommendations?

[tyme]

Hey @Manama ,

Thank you for sharing. It's a huge step to start reaching out, even if it means reaching out here on the forums.

I want to acknowledge it takes a lot of strength to do this.

I hear you feel you 'should' be happy and 'should' be able to see... I wonder if the 'should' word is what is putting pressure on you?

Having a young infant can really drain one's energy. What's sleep like for you at the moment?

You may be interested in SANE's Guided Recovery: https://www.sane.org/referral You can choose to speak to a counsellor or peer worker. Sometimes, just having someone to hear and listen and really ease some of this stress you may be experiencing.

I sometimes connect with a psychologist over the phone, and I find this super helpful.

Please stay in touch. We'd love to hear from you.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Manama I know that it can be so easy to downplay our own struggles or tell ourselves that others have it worse so we shouldn't complain! We all have these thoughts but they all they do is keep us stuck. Someone else going through something worse than us doesn't take away the pain that we're feeling

When you say online counselling are you thinking video sessions or something that's text-based, like a chat? I currently see my counsellor exclusively over video sessions and I've found it to be just as helpful as in-person sessions

Some websites like Talked links with a range of counsellors and psychologists who offer video and even chat sessions. You can also use this psychologist search tool and look for practitioners who offer video sessions. Or of course you could have a look at SANE's Guided recovery service which you can learn more about here 

[Manama]

Thank you very much I will look into it all, I never know where to start and who to talk to so this is a helpful start