My special place

[Snowie]

@rav3n @Ru-bee 

Thanks for the help

Going to have a nice hot shower and crawl into bed. Hopefully it helps to settle me down a bit.

[rav3n]

what a coincidence - i was chatting about tattoos with my sister last week and my mum overheard, barged into the room and said the same thing about us 'ruining' our bodies if get some @Snowie it exhausting when it's the same lecture over and over again. ughh i hate that you and brother had to deal with this since you were kids too, you deserve a break from being spoken to like that. 

ooo exciting! would love to see what they look like when they arrive (no pressure though!)

weighted dog sounds nice!! i really hope you sleep well tonight, good night 💗

[Eve7]

Sending lots of love to you @Snowie 

💜💜💜💜💜

[Snowie]

Thanks hon @Eve7 

How are you going?

[Snowie]

I think it was a record this morning. In and out of the gp's office in less than 10 mins.

I wasn't really up for talking plus she was running late. Just got what I needed and got out. 

Still charged a lot though.

One of those days where the mute button seems to be a good option. 

[Eve7]

Having a good day thanks @Snowie  Ive been to the hairdresser and had a pedicure and also the car had a “facial” so she’s all clean and ready to roll.

I have pdoc in the morning .

[Snowie]

Some nice self care happening @Eve7 Good on ya

I think thats what my car needs too!

I hope your pdoc appointment goes well for you hon

[Snowie]

Sometimes I wish I could just hide away. Time just to be me.

[Snowie]

No response needed. Just venting. 

The last few days have not been good. My mum is being really hard to deal with and really bad with her words. It is my fault that I haven't got an email from the manager of the nursing home she is looking at. It is my fault that I have a life outside of her.

I had ect Friday morning, which didn't go as planned. They asked the normal questions but couldn't have cared less about my answers. Only cared that they didn't have to deal with me.

On Friday she didn't have a good day, so of course I got the brunt of it when I got home. I was told I don't care about her and will just put her in the nursing home and leave her there.

Yesterday I took her to the shops was told again I didn't care.

This morning I told her that I was going to help hubby with something so won't be home for a few hours. Her response was "I'll just stay here by myself, you go and help him"

Yesterday after the shops, she said "I'll just stay downstairs by myself, you go and have fun"

It's like she is guilt tripping me into having my own life. I don't even feel comfortable in my own home. I always feel on edge.

On top of that my nightmares have worsened, which means not much sleep, which means my days have been crap. With my psych on leave, it has just made things harder.

I can't cope, I'm not coping. I know I'm doing and thinking things I shouldn't.

Doesn't matter anyway.

[Jynx]

@Snowie #sorrynotsorry but I couldn't just not respond - gotta at least send you this one!! 

🫂🫂🫂

Hope the vent helped 🤞💜