Planet of solitude

[Twinklelight]

[Faith-and-Hope]

Arnica is a natural product you can get from the pharmacy @Twinklelight, or maybe even supermarkets now.  It helps to treat the bruising and reduce inflammation, like using aloe vera for burns .... same sort of thing.

[Twinklelight]

thanks @Faith-and-Hope
ill look into it

[Twinklelight]

[Twinklelight]

i have a delema. 

i want to have another child.

but i dont if i should because of all the meds im on. 

i really want one more before my time is up. (getting older)

what should i do. 

i cant come off my meds because i know 

[outlander]

@Twinklelight
Your gp will be able to help with medication dilemas. i know many mh meds need to be carefully monitored or stopped when pregnant. Maybe have a chat to your gp when you can get a chance next?

[Twinklelight]

yeah i go to see my doc tomorrow @outlander

its a really hard choice to make. 

[outlander]

i can imagine it would be @Twinklelight im not a parent so wouldnt really understand. other here might have more ideas but you gp would be able to best advice you

[Twinklelight]

i just want to have another baby. i have done the last few years @outlander

but now i know my time is running out and i know i will regret it when i hit that stage where i cant have anymore. i know it will really upset me.

[Twinklelight]

so im sitting outside again in the cold wet windy day. wasting time doing nothing. no house work, nothing. just shit spinning around in my head. really i just want to go to bed. which i should do. but im to busy sitting out here drinking coffee and smoking my lung out. 

i wish i had some friends to keep me company or someone to talk to. family to talk to. i have no one. i feel so lonely. depressed. sad. aggetated. upset. and my head is just spinning out of control. i cant stop it. iv taken my PRN but there not helping. maybe i should take more. 

i just dont want to be here. i want to be a flying bird where i can go and fly where ever i want to go. just the freedom. flying up and the nice green flowery grass. thats my dream. just to be free. free from all this shit. all this drama. all of my fked up head. 

how do i do it. be a bird. there only one way. and thats out.