Down in the Dumps

[Faith-and-Hope]

@MoonGal

💐💕

[MoonGal]

@Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @BlueBay, @Appleblossom, @utopia

I have just been through a very hard mental & emotional stretch. Beside myself and not wanting to be here anymore. I didn't know what ailed me really, just same old, same old. Then I talked out a particular problem, a family issue, with my best friend and confidante and the darkness lifted. I didn't even know that the terrible maelstrom was caused by this problem, that insight was hidden from my view. I was just IN IT and doing it very tough indeed. Friendship, listening, sound advice helps. I spoke to my friend yesterday morning, by yesterday afternoon I was free of the burden, by last night I realised that the problem was solved.

What I find fascinating is the decompartmentalisation and the not knowing. I will tuck this one away so the next time , I hope, I remember, that there MAY be a reason, there may be something hidden that I am not aware of that is causing the pain, fear, anxiety and angst. I hope I catch it.

I will ask - perhaps, What conditions are arising in your life that are unresolved or of great concern to you? I really am gobsmacked that I didn't "know" what the problem was when it was so patently clear. 

And the hidden was most obvious really, just couldn't see the wood for the trees.

Friendship, Love... is vital, loving, challenging and beautiful. 

Thank you all for being here through it. 

[utopia]

@MoonGal. What an inspiring post.
Yes I get frustrated when I don't know what is causing my emotional crack. The mire frustrated I get, the less likely I am to find the answers.
Talking it out with a best friend or a psychologist you trust and who KNOWS you - can finally help you to SEE what is thd real issue.
I love those AHA light bulb moments.
Well done to you and your wonderful friend for taking the time to sort through it.
Inspirational! !!

[Faith-and-Hope]

That's wonderful @MoonGal ..... 💗🌷

[Former-Member]

I can identify with being IN IT too @MoonGal. I'm so happy for you that you have worked out what it was that was stopping you from living. For me, I know that my ball of emotions that has me suffocating usually has one element that when realised and dealt with can cause instant relief, even though the rest of it remains the same. I'm really glad you kept plodding through the last weeks when you were feeling at rock bottom.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm also learning through your experiences about me. I think that you and others on here are the hardest on themselves when you are down and struggling. I think perhaps just yesterday I realised this and think I do it too. It's so hard to receive help when we don't know what we are fighting. It just becomes such a big internal battle. Im not sure if I'm off the mark but wanted to share what I've observed. I think it was your post before this one that started me thinking about it. It makes me really happy that you have found your way out. I really hope you find some peace for now. Wishing you all the best 😊💜🤗💐

[Bimby2]

Thank you Moongal for being on this forum. Your words of wisdom are inspiring and thank you for sharing

these thoughts. Wish you life's best and happines too. Hugs,cheers from Bimby2

[Shaz51]

@MoonGal

that is wonderful

[MoonGal]

@utopia, @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Bimby2

When the burden lifts... perhaps I am on the upward trajectory to mania... perhaps i am just light with relief. Whatever... This happened this morning. 

______________________________

I went for a haircut. Speaking too freely as is my wont. A little wobbly, and bright tears in my eyes from the feelings swirling. But flash and smiling 'cos my cut is awesome.

Then on impulse, stepped into a shop as I went back to my car.

What happened next was beautiful.

Sage burning in a brazier. Strong and pungent.

An opening in conversation with the beautiful woman who owns the shop whom I have never spoken to before.

And before I knew it I was in her arms being hugged and crying...

and she said...

Accept...Accept... Just Accept it All As it Was and Then Step into Today....

Ground Yourself, Put down strong tree-roots ...

A stranger spoke thus. And I listened. A moment in time, she loved me and knew, had experienced much of what I have been through and she rested in her own aftermath and grown through and past it.

I picked up a little gift book on a stand... Titled "Comfort" and flicked through the pages and this was the first words seen...

"Whatever difficulties you have had in the past you can make a fresh start today" (Attributed to Buddha)

And then, and then I came home to crazy loving dogs who had to love me within an inch of their lives. A swirl of tails and tongues. There is no present moment more present that the love of a dog.

and I wrote this...

I have lived nineteen thousand lives.

  Every Day a Life Time.

I have spent too much time in

  Regret, grief and guilt.

I may have only one more life/day to live.

  I may have many more... Who knows?

So,

I will put down my roots and concentrate on

  Making leaves, and blossums and fruit.

And like all things living,

   The seasons will come and go.

Allow. Allow. Allow.

   The awesome power of Nature.

Everything passes,

Everything dies,

   Even Pain and Misery.

I will to lift my eyes, my heart, my mind

  And Be, a part of Nature's Way.

I set my feet on her path.

A daily devotion to her majesty and power.

*Nature's Way.

Let me be as good a friend as others have to me.

A lover of Love.

I have lived nineteen thousand lives

  And today is the beginning of one or a thousand more.

Be at peace.

Create.

Help.

Offer thanks to yourself too.

Let go of difficult conditions arising.

Accept. Accept. Accept.

Walk in Courage. Eyes full of Love.

We are all small. We are all infinite too.

_______________

Me. 19 October 2016

*No gods for me - just sap rising, birds singing. green light through leaves... and... Love as an act of the will.

So...

Make the most of this day. In this place. In this time.

(And you too @Silenus - our conversation about pain, meditation fed this tree.  )

[Former-Member]

Sounds like a day to bottle @MoonGal and keep for the bad times. It's really beautiful and uplifting. 💜😊

[Faith-and-Hope]

That is awesome @MoonGal .....

Live your love ..... 💜☕💕