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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member you will not be forgotten hun. I am sorry to see you go 💜💜

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💙💐💙💐💙

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hoping that you are ok my friend. Thanks for the support, I think of you often sweetie. 💜Nikki

 

💖🐶 @Former-Member 🐶💖

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Well ... I'm still here.  I asked for my account to be closed on Friday, but apparently only a Manager can close an account.  So I've been nervously standing guard over my account here since then, whilst anxiously awaiting the return of the managers on Monday to shut me down.

 

It's been very hard for me here over the past month. Finding myself severely restricted in the threads I can visit, has meant that I've not been able to support many of you as I normally would.  That's been frustrating and upsetting for me, and no doubt confusing for you. I apologise for that, though I will add that it was not my choice, but rather something I was instructed to do. It has meant that my forum world became smaller every day, as I was systematically forced out of more and more threads. In the end, there was really only here for me to be. Sadly, here is now lost to me as well. For those of you who have taken the time to visit and converse with me here ... I thank you.  You are all wonderful people, and I appreciate you so much.

 

Despite the difficulties experienced here lately, that's not  the reason I now need to leave the forums. It was a moment of carelessness on my part which has led to my anonymity here being compromised.  I accidentally left my mobile phone behind when I went into town on Friday. Someone had access to it during that time.  My Sane account was open as was my email account where email notifications come through.  This meant that the Sane Website, my username and my profile picture is now known.  I've been questioned about it, which means I am no longer safe here, and need to try to minimise the fallout.

 

As soon as I became aware, I asked for my account to be closed.  And posted my message to you all on Friday, expecting that to be the last.  But that wasn't the case unfortunately, because the managers had already left for the weekend.  I've therefore spent the weekend doing my best to prevent further access to the site until my account is shut down. I have changed my profile picture, in an attempt to temporarily make things more difficult to track.

 

I feel so lost and alone now, knowing that I no longer have the forums as my support. Feeling very sad and disappointed that I can no longer be here to support you all, and travel along with your often complex journeys. You are people I have known for various amounts of time, but each one of you are very special to me, each in your own unique way.

 

As this is the last day I'll have access to the forums, I thought I'd send a more comprehensive message than I did last Friday.  And take a little time to address some of you individually.  It means this will be a long post, but I hope you'll take the time to read it when you find the time.

 

Firstly thank you to all the 'supports' from my rushed message on Friday. @outlander @Adge @Lee82 @Appleblossom @TAB @Eve7 @Faith-and-Hope @Peri @Sans911 @Former-Member @Former-Member @Maggie @BlueBay @eth @NatureLover @Bunniekins @frog  

 

Ooops .. I have had to split my post .. too many characters.  See part 2 below.

@Owlunar @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Meowmy @Gazza75 @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Snowie @Molliex @Former-Member @Pollyotter 

 

Sherry 💕🙏🌸

 

 

Image result for Heartfelt Thank You

 

Image result for Goodbye I will miss you

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thank you @Former-Member  ... yes needing to leave the forums is definitely a heartbreaking loss for me.  Sane has been such a large part of my life over the past 4 years.  I honestly don't know what I'll do without everyone here.  The members here are my friends, my family, and I care a great deal about them all.  Yes .. this is a huge loss to me, because now I have nothing, and unfortunately I have nowhere else to go.

 

@Owlunar  ... Thank you so much for having taken me under your wounded wing over the past couple of months.  I have truly enjoyed the banter and camaraderie we have shared during that time.  I know you are dealing with a lot of physical pain lately. Something you are no stranger to, and I know you will claw your way through it all.  I very much respect you for all that you are.  And I thank you for being a friend to me. Sending you love and well wishes for now and the future.  I thought you had a birthday this month, but I never saw any notice.  Did I miss it?  Sending you early or belated birthday wishes for whenever it is/was.  And a big bunch of birthday and/or get well flowers.  Enjoy.

 

@CheerBear ... You have come through such a traumatic past, which has moulded you into an amazingly strong, resilient and wonderful person.  The way you are now reshaping your whole world (home, career, kids, Mr Person) is so inspiring to see.  Thank you for allowing me a glimpse into your world and for permitting me to see you as a role model.  I know you will do well in whatever you choose to do in future, and I wish you the very best in all that you do.  You so deserve it.

 

@Shaz51  ... I seem to have known you forever.  I see you as someone who has always been around for me when I needed a hug or a kind word. You provide comfort to so many here, and I thank you for that. You have such a worrying time ahead of you with Mr Shaz MH issues, as well as your Mums declining health.  On top of that you also have your own major physical health issues to contend with.  So much to deal with, and yet you still come through it all full of grace and gratitude. I hope everything goes as well as it possibly can for you and yours in months/years to come.  Sending all my love and a great big hug to you my friend.

 

@Pollyotter  ... I haven't known you very long, but you have left an imprint on my heart. I know you will do well in life, because you have the desire and the strength to pull through whatever difficulty life throws at you.  Keep up the good work my friend.  Mamma S will remember you always with great affection.  Sending you a truck load of M&Ms.

 

@outlander ... Thanks Li'l One.  I will always remember you too, and will think of you every day.  I really hope you can finally get some answers and solutions to your many physical ailments. And once that is all back on track, that you can then concentrate more easily on your MH challenges.  I wish you well, and wish that were enough.

 

@Lee82  ... You are a beautiful person, and I thank you for your lovely words to me. My wish for you is the same as what you wish for me ... peace and happiness. Sadly I will never be able to return here ... Sherry is gone ... so I will not be able to return to say hi to anyone. Never give up Lee.  Remember that YOU are worth every effort it takes to pull through.

 

@Eve7  ... Is it really only 7 weeks since you arrived here? I have loved getting to know you a little over that time.  Thank you for your kind words.  I have always tried to support others, within my capability.  It's been easy to like and support you, because you are so supportive in return.  From all that I've read lately, I think you are on the road to recovery and it also sounds as though you now have some solid real life support for when you leave hospital.  As for my own support ... I have my clinical psychologist, and she's great. Sadly, with the loss of the Forums, I have nobody else.  As for safety ... there really are no guarantees are there? But I will do my best.  Thank you Eve, and all the very best with your ongoing MH and hopeful return to work in due course.

 

@Faith-and-Hope  ... As explained above, I cannot return here.  So there will be no future returns to check in with anyone.  Sherry is gone, and it will never be safe for me to return.  Thank you for your kind words, which I know are difficult for you to express here.  I do want you to know that your words mean a lot to me:  "Your posts have meant an awful lot to an awful lot of people across a long period of time - words of comfort, concern and understanding."  So thank you.  My thoughts will be with you as you continue to sort out the mess from your marriage breakup.  I know you will get there though, because I know your giant heart is in the right place.  You will make things work as well as possible, for yourself and your Baby Dragons.  Kindest thoughts, and thank you for your support and understanding in the past.

 

@Peri  ... I'm really not sure what to say to you.  You followed me here from elsewhere, and now I'm up and leaving. At least I leave knowing that the members here will continue to support you. Probably far better than I've done lately, and I'm happy about that.  It's been good to see you making a few new connections here on the forums lately and I hope that is a good thing for you. So I am confident that I leave you in good hands.  Leaving is not a matter of doing what's right for me.  If I did that, I would still be here. And these past few weeks would not have been as difficult as they have been for me, with the restrictions I've had to try to live with. Thank you Peri for your very kind words about me. I too rate kindness very highly in my list of attributes.  And you are right up there with the best.  Actually you are right ... I do have a good sense of humour.  Not a lot of people see that here, although there have been times members have commented that I have a lovely sense of humour. So I guess I have let it escape on the odd occasion. My Dad has a very good, though somewhat dry sense of humour, and I have been told that I am similar to him in that regard. Not everyone 'gets' my humour.  Yes there are members here who care for and about me, I have no doubt about that. There are others here however, who will be happy to know I'm gone.  Fairly typical of life everywhere, you can never please everyone. I honestly don't know if I will ever 'find' myself.  I'm not even sure there is anything left to actually find. But I do know that I can never return here, the door here is now closed.  I hope your Son and his child custody issues are resolved soon and that it is an equitable arrangement that you can all live with. I also hope you make some more enquiries about returning to work.  It may be just what you need.  I wish you every happiness Peri and my thoughts and best wishes go out to you. I will miss you very much and thank you so much for keeping track of me.

 

@Former-Member  ... Thank you Darcy.  Yes I know where to find you all, but sadly it won't be as a member because my account needs to be closed.  I will definitely try to check up on you, and many other members here, from time to time however.  I can still do that, even as a non-member.  So I will monitor how things go with Mr Darcy's cancer treatment, and also the Dog Thread. I just won't be able to respond or support posts. I wish you all the very best.

 

@Former-Member  ... I will really miss you, and all your beautiful pictures. Yes I do have some good friends here, and you are one of those.  I thank you for that. But sadly, I don't think I can ever return here. I have been sticking pretty much to just this thread the past few weeks, while being restricted on where else I can post. And it's true that it's been very hard to support anyone under those conditions. But I was getting by, as frustrating as it was. It's true that there is a lot going on in my life right now, which makes everything so much harder. I don't think any of that is about to change in a hurry either.  But everyone here lives with hardship, so I'm certainly not alone in that regard ... yourself included. I wish only good things for you Pippi, and will continue to think of you.

 

@Former-Member  ... dearest Izzy, Nikki, Kimmy ... I am so sorry to be leaving just as I was getting to know you all a little better.  I am really sad about that, and will definitely miss each of you.  Please continue to look after each other, and stay safe.  You are each, in your own right, very special people.  I will miss you heaps.  And yes, I will think of you often too.  I am really sorry I cannot be here to help support you and follow your progress into the future.  I will come onto the site occasionally however, and try to keep up with how things are going for you.  And some other members too, though I won't be able to contribute or 'support'.  But know that I am watching over you, with love and care.

 

@Maggie  ... I have known you longer than anyone else here.  I have always been drawn to you.  I have few words I can say to you now, other than to please know I care and want only good things for you into your future. I'm glad you are now a Guide, as it will hopefully provide a sense of purpose and instill some confidence and self worth in you.  Because you are worthy, you are special, you are a wonderful human being. Much love to you.

 

@Molliex  ... I will miss you too.  The early part of my post here will explain the reasons I need to leave.  Loss of anonymity, on top of other difficulties I  have been experiencing here lately, means there is no way back for me.  Thank you ... I will try my best to remain safe, but I don't think there can ever be any guarantees around that.  I read somewhere that you expect to finally receive some answers around your pregnancy this week.  After heaps of tests these past 10 days or so, it will be a relief to finally know. Even I suppose, if the news is bad.  Though I really hope that's not the case.  I will try to check your thread in coming days to find some updates. I will continue to think of you, your dear little daughter and your caring hubby.  I really hope things work out for you.  Perhaps if not this time, then there will be another time.  Kindest thoughts your way.

 

@eth  ... Yes I know I have a lot of members here who like and respect me.  And I am both grateful and honoured for that. I also know there are some who resent and despise me, which I find extremely hard. It makes me feel very vulnerable.  But as you will see from the early part of my post, that is not why I now need to leave. I am very afraid that my anonymity here is compromised, and that makes it unsafe for me to be here. Hence the need for my account to be cancelled.  After that, I don't think people are allowed back, so this is it for me. I care a lot about you too Eth, so thank you for saying what you did.  I will try my best at self care, although as you know ... that's a pretty hard ask sometimes. And I'm really not so good at it, even at the best of times.  And right now ... times are bad.  I really don't know how I'm going to cope without the forums.  Any time I have taken a break in the past ... I've struggled really badly.  It means I become very isolated and feel very alone. I suspect that will be the case again.  At least I know my clinical psych is there for me, so I have someone in my corner.  I know she won't be happy with me for leaving the forums. But at least I know she will understand when I tell her the reasons why it is necessary. I will miss you too Eth, and I thank you for being the support to me that you have been. I hope your public housing application finally gets done and that you don't have to wait too long for a result. Wishing you the best in all that you do. Much love.

 

@Bunniekins  ... my dear Pea ... awww, I wish I wasn't leaving!  It makes me all weepy just thinking about leaving all you good people.  My studious friend .. I wish you every success with your criminology studies and I hope you get your dream job as a result. Study hard, learn well, take care and enjoy.  Giving you a squishy Pea hug.

 

@NatureLover  ... I think  the early part of my post has adequately explained why I need to leave. It's really not something I have a choice about, and I am really upset about needing to do so. It's been really good getting to know you especially these past few weeks, and I will definitely miss you too. No I don't have much by way of off-line support. The forums have been my lifeline for the past 4 years. But I'm sure I will manage, so please don't worry. Try to think of me doing really well ... after all, who knows?  Keep working at managing time on-forum and off-forum.  You are a real asset here, and never doubt that.  Thank you for your care and concern. I will come by occasionally and try to track down your HSP and OCD threads to see what's happening for you.  I just won't be able to respond as a non-member.  But know that I am looking in, urging you on and wanting the best for you.

 

@frog  ... thank you Frog.  We don't seem to cross paths (or lily pads) all that often nowadays, but I always enjoy it when we do.  Thank you for your wishes ... I do indeed crave a sense of peace and safety.  Maybe I will find it one day, but right now it seems completely out of reach.  Wishing you the very best, and thank you for your support over the last roughly 3 years. I think you joined about a year after I did.

 

@Snowie  ... thank you sweetie.  Wishing you all the very best for your future recovery. Hope the maintenance ECT has the desired effect, and it gives you the relief that you seek.

 

@Former-Member  ... You have not posted much all week.  I know you were moving on Tuesday, or at least all your furniture and effects were.  I think you were to stay back for a couple of days to facilitate cleanup etc.  However, I think you would be in your new home up North by now?  How is it?  I really hope everything works out well for you, that you love your new home, that your son's university course goes great, that you finally find a happy place in life.  How is little Georgia settling in?  I will watch out for updates, either on your own thread or here if you want to post here after I've gone.  It's just a bit hard to find specific threads as a non-member, but I will track you down somehow.  I care about you EOR and want the best for you.  Thinking of you always.

 

@BlueBay ... I realise you are taking a break from the forums right now.  I hope that is going well for you.  I also hope your hand is healing well, that you will soon be able to return to work, that you will find some time to get away for a few days here and there with hubby.  All very important for your wellbeing.  I also hope that you keep looking for an admin or reception job which will suit you better than what you are currently doing. I know jobs are very hard to come by right now, but dont give up.  Keep enjoying every day you spend with Little A. Those moments, and the memories generated from them, are priceless. Wishing you the best my friend. Please take special care of you.

 

@Zoe7  ... Despite what you may think, I will always wish you well. Good bye, and thank you for all that we shared in the past.

 

@Gazza75 @Meowmy  ... fare well my friends.

 

Goodbye everyone ... I consider myself very privileged to have had the opportunity to get to know each of you. I will be logging off shortly and will not be responding further. My account should be closed first thing in the morning. But I will come by occasionally to see how you are all going.  I care very much for you and that will never change. 

Thank you.

 

Sherry 💕🙏🌺

 

 

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member much love and hugs being sent your way 💌 You will be missed 💜

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member , @Former-Member @Snowie @Snowie @frog ,

and anyone else sherry listed.  

I do not unbersta d what is going On here and why you. Can’t stay.  Surely some explanation is owed to to community. People can’t just disappear.  Who is this community for the moderators or the participants?

i feel quite bereft at you leaving and like I have had a limb cut off without asking.   I don’t think I shall be able to stay if this environment is so unsafe 

would someone please explain what has gone wrong?

peri

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

My beautiful friend, I still have no words to describe how I feel about not being able to talk to you again. Please know that your friendship and support, even when it was silent mean a great deal to me, Izzy and the rest. Kimmy said she hopes you remember her when you look at your butterfly she made you. My heart breaks for you and the decision you had to make to leave your fourm family. Thank you for every little piece of advice given, support and friendship shown. There  really is no way to say goodbye that doesn't break my heart. Sending you off with a million squishy hugs and all the love I can give you @Former-Member 💜Nikki

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Peri ... Please Peri, its not the forums fault.  Its my own ... Someone saw my account name, so I now have to shut it down.  The moderators have been very accommodating, as I'm sure the managers will also.  I just cannot take the risk of leaving it open unfortunately.  I thought I had explained it in my first post just now. Unfortunately I had to split my post because it ended up too big.  Can you please read the post just above the one you were tagged in, and I hope that explains things better for you.  I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.  You are safe here and I hope you will stay.  

Sherry 

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

sending heaps of love and hugs @Former-Member 🧡💚💙🤍

you will be missed and it breaks my heart that you have to leave and now cant come back. maybe after a few months though when people forget you could create a whole new account different name etc and just do some pop ins. that would be pretty good. 

Lifeline Macarthur

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