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Recovery Club

About Recovery Club
Share experiences and explore day-to-day coping strategies for complex mental health issues.
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rav3n||Last message about 1 month ago
Wind-down Wednesdays

Welcome to Wind-down Wednesdays where we work through a new grounding or soothing tool on every third Wednesday! 🌺 The purpose of this thread is To learn more about various grounding/soothing strategies (can add them into your self-care toolbox) To understand why we do it and how it works in calming us down To create a safe space for members to visit whenever they need to wind down and catch their breath. You can work on the strategy by yourself here, or tag community members to join you (please be mindful of our guidelines - remember that members may not always respond immediately, and let’s not place pressure on others to respond) Promote self-care and self-reliance in regulating your emotions! Got a grounding tool/soothing strategy you’d like to share on this thread? Email us (team@saneforums.org) to let us know and we’ll save you a Wednesday slot! 😊 The first grounding tool we’ll be exploring is the 3-3-3 technique. 3-3-3: Name 3 things you see: scan the space around you. For each item you identify, really focus on the details of it – what colour is it? Is it heavy or light? Big or small? What’s the texture of the object? Name 3 things you hear: what are some sounds near you or far from you, are they soft or loud? Listen closely to identify them. Move 3 parts of your body: it can be light or dramatic movements such as slowly rolling your shoulders, clenching and unclenching your fists, wiggling your fingers and toes, jumping up and down, shaking your wrists, etc. So how does this work? Well, when we’re feeling anxious and overwhelmed, it can sometimes trigger a stress response where our body’s fight-flight-freeze system is activated, which you can learn more about here: The Four 'F' Trauma Responses - SANE Forums. This system is typically activated when our body identifies a physical threat, our body enters a heightened state of arousal to help survive – this can look like increased heart rate, increased muscle tension, decreased appetite, etc. When our anxious thoughts keep activating this heightened state of arousal, it can lead to a very dysregulated nervous system where our bodies keep reacting out of proportion to the threat, making it hard to calm down. Moving our focus from internal things (like anxious thoughts/feelings) to external things (like what we can see/hear), helps us slow things down and calm the stress response. It gives our body a chance to focus on things that it perceived as non-threatening (i.e. identifying a cup or a bird flying around), which gives our body a chance to slowly calm down. Practicing grounding techniques regularly can help regulate the nervous system with time. For more information, feel free to read this article: 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety: How to Use, Scientific Basis, Other Coping Strategies Now let’s give it a go! Feel free to share the 3 things you saw, heard and the 3 body parts you moved – and any other reflections you’d like to add.

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FearofUnknown|Senior Contributor|Last message 1 day ago
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puppydoglover|Senior Contributor|Last message about 17 hours ago
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Dimity|Senior Contributor|Last message 6 days ago
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naka|Casual Contributor|Last message 8 days ago
Breakup

My ex and I broke up very recently and I’m so devastated and feel lonely. We dated for 2 years, almost 3 years. We really connected over the topics we spoke about and never argued. But because theres a quite of an age gap difference, he never really gave the normal affectionate behaviour as hes “already done it”. Such as planning for dates, gifting gifts and as far as not getting anything for anniversary and special occasions. Most he would do is just pay for the dinner but no gifts. Because of the age gap, he was afraid of the consequences that people may do to him. So for 2 years, he made me lie about my relationship status to all my friends and family until I couldn’t handle holding it in anymore as he said if I did, he would break up with me. I know this is a red flag but this was my first proper relationship and I did not want to lose him. He barely did the bare minimum but he was utterly the most supportive and positive person I’ve ever met. One week, he had finally let me tell my parents about us being together. Although my parents didnt like the idea of me dating an older guy, they didnt tell us to break up. 2 weeks later, he confesses that he likes another girl and wants to try non-monogamy. It tore my heart, as I have been doing everything to show my love and care but I tried to go along with non-monogamy. The past 3 months were terrible. I felt unloved and unworthy just from the thought that he liked someone else. I would tell him every now and then but he wouldn’t break up with her. At one point I got suicidal and it gets bad enough that he called the police to do a welfare check. That happened just two weeks ago. He urges me to go to the doctor or psychiatrist to get a mental health screening but I knew what could have solved this issue, leaving the girl behind. But I knew he wouldnt. In the end, he couldn’t handle my mental health issues and broke up. I feel so lonely and a big part of me has been ripped away since he was always the person I could go to for help. I don’t really have friends so its a lot harder to deal with. Im not really sure what to do with my future, I just keep thinking I want to disappear.

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jrn|Senior Contributor|Last message 1 day ago
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charlie-07|New Contributor|Last message 6 days ago
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Hawkers33|New Contributor|Last message 7 days ago
Moving Beyond Grief & Trauma & enjoying life again

Good Afternoon, i was encouraged to share my story on this platform after working with various grief organisations which have been a great source of empowerment for myself. I am 33 and sadly lost my mum to terminal cancer in June 2021 and my dad to oesophaegal cancer in June 2022 after losing my younger brother in a car accident in 2014. The realisation of sometimes seeing old family photos and losing 3 of your 5 family members is certainly tough but something i work through with the acceptance of understanding not everyday will be a good day and thats ok. When my mum was diagnosed in September 2019 she was in hospital for awhile but returned post rehab in April 2020, however she had my grandparents, uncle, support workers, family helping her through which allowed me time to sort my emotions on the matter, sadly life hits you the hardest when you least expect and my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in March 2021 which he had a whirlwind of complications along with a father who means alot to me but is a poor handler of emotions was a hard time made even moreso that he didnt have any family support meaning i had to look after him by myself while my older brother completely abandoned him which was hard. Losing my mum and not being able to grieve as i need to take my dad to chemo every 2 weeks and all the fallout and emotional heaviness from death conversations was really hard considering at the time i was 29/30 doing this by myself and i remember getting these stomach pains which at the time with my luck i thought was stomach cancer but was just stress (had a great doctor) and when my dad did pass i was thankful cause i had nothing left to give to a cancer journey that was close to 3 years and had so many down and scary moments. For the next 6 months was almost like a personal prison, i lost my self identity and confidence and was like where do i go now and found it hard to integrate in society and thankfully the lowest moment came when i said to myself am i ever going to get a fair crack in life, thankfully thats the lowest i got and worked hard with my psychologist, doctor, grief counsellor and friends to just rebuild. And i remember in Jan 2023 me saying to myself i gotta take more risks and start living my life with no fear. I started integrating in large group settings that i withdrew from out of social anxiety, i travelled europe solo for 4 months which was the best thing i ever did, and the person i was became a memory to the person i have become........someone who enjoys life, energetic, has fun, talkative but more importantly grounded to the pains of life which makes you appreciate life even more. From that groundness i have worked with a number of grief and trauma charities helping kids who have lost parents and help them in there journey post grief. I will say with complete truthfullness the journey through pain, hardship, mental health etc is not easy and is not done alone. You are the master of your own destiny but being open and honest with yourself means you can be open and honest with those around you and step by step you become a powerful and honest person who can inspire. These days i am very extroverted and referred to as the energy and life of parties but that occured because i had the confidence to be honest to those around me when i was struggling which still happens these days from time to time and talk about things and the end result is you and you only becoming more powerful and strong than you realise. Hopefully anyone reading this message learns that happiness and lust for life doesnt happen from being invited to parties or wealth but moreso from the confidence you build for yourself when you learn to accept yourself for who you are and when its all said and done if you can navigate your way through grief, trauma, mental health (things that people cant overcome) then you can do anything in life with confidence and little fear which is what i learned about myself. Think of this way, mental health, grief, trauma etc are our own personal prisons, if we can navigate our way out of our own personal prisons through honestly, sincerity, openness and being ourselves then we can overcome anything in life thrown at us and you need to have the self belief to do that slowly and surely and live without fear

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avant-garde|Senior Contributor|Last message 11 days ago
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fruitisgood|Senior Contributor|Last message 7 days ago
a few things that have helped me recently. maybe they will help you ? question mark

The usual spiel, going through it. Big changes. Change. aaa what a freaky foreign term for someone who historically finds comfort in chaos and instability. Yet the word Change is so scary. Been trying different things to cope. Take what I learn from the world, or advice from others, and carve it into something unique to me. Journaling - Me and journalling have a love hate relationship. Sometimes its great, other times I want to throw the whole dang book out the window. Writing in perfect little sentences feels so constrictive. So I open up on what journalling could look like. I take a big canvas, a ripped piece of paper, a torn pizza box lid. I toss my implements out onto the rug and I SCRIBBLE. maniacly all over the page. I draw.. doodle. Words. phrases. Feelings. colours. When the hands feel too antsy and the words must flow FASTER, I speak into my little voice recorder. I speak passionately as if Im talking to the world's best listener with atleast a two year streak of excellence. I made a friend. A big plush bear. He listens. he comforts. He talks. He asks questions. He gives me space to speak and space to breath. The inner child in me. The small one. They need a parent. A good responsible role model. I feel like an incompetent parent. So I ask what real parents do. I take on board perspective from them. I ask myself what would a good parent do in this situation. I try to be that good parent to the small scared sad one. Water. Water is life and life giving. Being in water to feel weightless. To drink it. How special it is we have such readily access to it. Water is good. Comfy clothes that leave you feeling like you're being warmly hugged! Feeling fabulous. Clothes to move in. to play in. Talk to people! Not the big scary conversations. Not the deep and profound. Just talk. Say hello. Smile. offer some directions, offer a tadbit of fact. Goodness me the energy felt from those micro interactions. Not everyone reciprocates. thats okay. To learn is to stumble and fail. one more. If youre feeling big grief over a breakup that didnt go well, and memories associated with certain things you love feel tainted by them? Remember this: You did not begin to love the stars when they came along, you have always loved the Stars ♡

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Dimity|Senior Contributor|Last message 14 days ago
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