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02 Nov 2016 08:59 AM
02 Nov 2016 08:59 AM
02 Nov 2016 09:09 AM
02 Nov 2016 09:09 AM
02 Nov 2016 09:17 AM
02 Nov 2016 09:17 AM
02 Nov 2016 12:26 PM
02 Nov 2016 12:26 PM
Hi @Former-Member@utopia@Change123@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@pip
OMG what a morning. I got to my 9.30 appt with a CAT team psychiatrist and a mental health clinician.
So nervous, walked in and said hello and that was it, downhill from there. As soon as the psych asked questions I could feel myself going deeper and deeper into my own world.
I could hear him but was only able to say yes or no. And then the abuse questions - well that set me off into an emotional blubbering mess. The psych was very good. After talking to me for an hour he decided that he would prescribe me an anti-anxiety tab to take tonight and during the day to help me calm down and as well help with sleep.
He said he is going to call my GP and psychiatrist to have a chat, and maybe even a possibility of another admission. The psych said they will call me tomorrow and want to see me again next Tuesday or earlier if possible. They are happy to liaise with my support team.
Started to drive home and decided to pull over at the beach, go for a walk. As i got out and started to walk i broke down calling them again. I told him that i was ready to harm myself. He calmed me down and said i must keep my appt today to see my GP.
I am home now just had lunch and need to keep myself busy until 2pm. maybe some knitting while listening to music. better take jersey for a play on the block of land first miley Happy
i feel such a wreck, i knew this was going to happen - my meltdown. i could see it coming.
but now with all this sjuport hopefully i will get on top of it all.
02 Nov 2016 12:52 PM
02 Nov 2016 12:52 PM
That's great @BlueBay that they are looking at ways to help. I hope your afternoon is more relaxing. I find a short admission to hospital helps to break the cycle and reset so I hope you get this chance as well. It doesn't fix anything but makes things more manageable fora bit. Good luck for your appointment 💜🤗
02 Nov 2016 12:57 PM
02 Nov 2016 12:57 PM
Yeah @Former-Member that's exactly what they told me today also - if i go in hospital it will break the cycle. I remember on my very first hospital admission the unit manager was talking to me and she said that with BPD sufferers they take them in not too often (because they will attach themselves to the hospital) but every now and then to 'recharge their batteries, like a car'. That was her explanation and you know it makes sense.
02 Nov 2016 01:40 PM
02 Nov 2016 01:40 PM
I hope your GP appoint goes well, interesting what you said about admissions. Out of curiosity do you mind me asking what state you are in? Just curious as this could be why I was handled the way I was but it would have been nice if someone explained this to me especially as it was my first time.
Not long to go now.
02 Nov 2016 02:00 PM
02 Nov 2016 02:00 PM
02 Nov 2016 02:57 PM - edited 02 Nov 2016 02:58 PM
02 Nov 2016 02:57 PM - edited 02 Nov 2016 02:58 PM
Just a thought @BlueBay if you do get admitted it might be worth eliminating anything that causes you stress. I ask my kids not to call or visit and I try to not have contact with anyone except my third son who doesn't live with me. We usually have a coffee together and this is calming for me. It's the only contact I enjoy when I'm in hospital. That way no one can stress me out even unintentionally. I don't want to know what is going on with anything unless it was a real emergency. During those days I have extra medication and when I'm feeling a little in control start colouring in. For me that space is critical otherwise I would come out of hospital still feeling suicidal. I also find talking to the psychologist there helpful and this last time it was the social worker. I always struggle with doctors, they are my nemesis but I'm always polite. I hope this helps. I think maybe you could plan your weekend away around the same thing, no contact with anyone who would potentially elevate stress and make sure all conversations with hubby are not stressful. You can have the difficult ones at home where you have more support. I also think time away from the forum helped too. I'm thinking aloud here and just offering suggestions that help me. I'm currently hiding in my car passing time as I'm a bit scared of myself if I go home. I've booked an eye test soon to help distract so I'm rambling a bit sorry. Anyway I'm really hoping for a positive outcome for you, you could do with a break. 💜😊
02 Nov 2016 03:17 PM
02 Nov 2016 03:17 PM
Hi @Change123 @Former-Member
I'm in Victoria. Saw my GP he knew what had happened yesterday as the CAT team notified him. He said no wonder I am looking very very down and wasn't surprised. He has given me a certificate for tomorow off work and wants me to call him. I said why 'just to make sure i am still alive'.
He suggesgted i take the meds the CAT pysch has given me.
I am so drowsy don't know if it's the meds from uyesterday at the hospital. Yes @Former-Member while away i am not bringing my laptop, just my phone. And i am not going to go on it as often as i do. I think i will also have a break for the weekend from the forum.
if I go to hosptial i will not have visitors and no phone or laptop.
I so need this weekend away.
I told my GP about me at the beach this morning and what i was going to do. he asked if i have told the CAT team and I said yes.
He is now waiting to speak to the CAT psychiatrist.
I feel so down, really suicidal and not thinking. and tired.
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