Night Shift

[Mazarita]

Hi @PeppiPatty, I will keep you posted on how it goes with trying to see this new psychologist. Yes, I am applying for one half day a week at one of the local op shops. Just have to get the reference organised and then I'll be taking in the forms. 

Hi @Jacques, great message about keeping moving no matter what. It sounds like you have done really well getting out three times last week. It's natural that you may need some recovery time. I too get very tired from the anxiety and nervous energy I carry with me in every day life and often need to take some time out to recover too. Hope the panic attacks calm down soon for you and that sleep returns to give you some replenishment. Great to hear you have had some rain, even if it came down in bucketloads and gave you leaks. Sounds like it's much needed where you are. I agree with Shaz that it would be great to see you getting back into the model ships.

Hi @Shaz51, now you've got me wondering what you are watching on YouTube and why you hubby is laughing! What a lovely hobby your hubby has doing timelapse photography.

[Jacques]

Oh my goodness @Shaz51, would it be possible to post one of your Hubbies photos? only if he agree's.  My father was a professional Photographer, he owned a photo shop, i used to love working their when i was young, he even took me to some of the weddings he worked at. he had a top of the line Minolta, it was such a nice camera, does your hubby like the new digital cameras or like the old school cameras?

@Mazarita, thank you i know it will pass, but the panic attacks have been some of the worst i have experianced, the trips out have only been for a few hours, just too overwhemling for me.

Thank you Ladies, i am going to try, i find it difficult building boats, not so muc hthe woodwork, that is fine, but doing the fine ropes with 2 pairs of tweezers is so hard, especially when my hands shake so much, i am going to just build it when my hands are ok, and take my time.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Jacques it is a great idea to find a way to keep your model building going.  We havent talked much but I was glad to see you on this thread. I am feeling very tired and will go to bed soon .. very early for me.

[Jacques]

Hi Dear @Appleblossom,

Yes, i get "the itch" every now and again to build a ship, it just comes down to whether i can do them or not, you need a lot of concentration and patients, working with timber and string you need a magnifying glass to work with is very hard, some of the parts of the boat are only 1-2mm in size, so you could imagine trying to make one with shaking hands 🙂

Me too @Appleblossom, i struggled to talk to others on here for a long time, but i have always read posts from all of you, i was so ecstatic to hear your son got accepted into the music school, you must be such a proud mum at the moment 🙂 it is all down to your care and patients with your son, it is paying off now, i am so happy for you. 

Please rest well @Appleblossom, you have had a very busy few months, you deserve some @Appleblossom time 😄

[Mazarita]

Nightie night, @Appleblossom, sleep well.

@Jacques, I know what you mean about needing to take your time with these things sometimes and, yes, I think it is best for you to do that with your model building. Part of looking after ourselves is knowing our own limits I think and taking things at a pace we can handle. It is amazing that you have produced such intricate work given your issues with shaking. You must have incredible patience.

[Jacques]

Hi @Mazarita,

Yes, i think that is what i have been trying to say to you with your addictions, it is all a process, some work faster than others, but we all strive for the sam goals, to make our lives better 🙂

Yes, it does take enormous patience, it takes me just past 1 year to make one, i am sure others could do it much faster, but i know i have limitations and i am happy to work around these limitations and take my time, sometimes it is so hard for me towork with magnifying goggles, and two pairs of tweezes, but i have done it in the past and i am sure i can do it now.

how are you going @Mazarita? have things been sorted out with your partner?

[Mazarita]

@Jacques,

Thank you (to everyone else too) for your patience with me and my addictions. I need some of your patience to apply to myself sometimes. I get very frustrated with myself sometimes. Going extra well this week with it so feeling more optimistic again. Yes, that's what we are all here for, to move towards improving our lives and to help each other along in the process. 🙂 

Partner and I seem to have sorted out the big issue we had. I tend to overreact when there is conflict between us because I have a big fear of abandonment leftover probably from childhood when my dad came and went many times. Sometimes I came home from school and he just wouldn't be there anymore and would be gone from us after a fight with mum. Ah, but I won't go too much into that old story again. Things are looking up once more at home here. Thanks for following up with me on that and thanks again for your great support on the night.

[Jacques]

No problem @Mazarita, i often think of this forum as 1 big family, we all pull together if one of us has a crisis, i have had so much help from all of you too, it is so nice to be able to come here and know everyone is here to help me and support me and i am so happy to be able to do the same. 😄

I am so glad you and your partner have sorted things out, i was really worried about you, but i have to say you handled it really well, i was so proud of you keeping calm and distracting till you where able to sort things out, it is so easy to slip into old ways, but we manage to let go of our addictions a little at a time until we ddon't need them anymore.

yes i have abandonment issues too 😞 it has controlled my whole life, that is why i can't leave mums side for more than a few hours. i am so scared of being alone.

anyway i am glad things are sorted and you are having a better week 🙂

[Terry]

Thank you.  Good advice x  🙂

[Terry]

@Mazarita   I was lucky with my childhood - the family home was very stable - both parents were around to emotionally brutalise me! hee hee!  i survived (just), even 'tho i'm not quite the picture of balance.