Night Shift

[Terry]

@Jacques re panic attaks and poor sleep - i don't know if this would work, but try doing 'controlled breathing' - in for four counts, hold for about four counts, out for four counts - it lowers the amount of carbon dioxide in your blood, which lowers stress levels, and it also is 'boring' - that is, it takes up mental space that you are using to panic, in a boring, calm way. i actually did some controlled breathing last night and bored myself back to sleep quite quickly.

ten minutes meditation every morning to start to train yourself to be calmer would also benefit me, whooops, i mean you.  hee hee!  🙂

[Jacques]

Hi @Terry,

How are you this morning?

Thank you for the great suggestion, i actually do controlled breathing multiable times a day, i don't know how i get my panic attacks under control of a night anymore, i think i just need to push myself to the point of total exhaustion so i do not wake of a night. 

they seem to be at their worst when i go to bed, like the act of laying down in bed now is a trigger for the panic attacks. i was thinking of trying to sleep in a chair to see if that workes. 

hope you have a nice day @Terry, i really like your posts, i like how you write what you think and accept people whom may have different opinions. 

Thankyou for being so kind 🙂

Jacques

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @Terry.

I think there are quite a number of us here who have trauma from childhood. Even though I loved my dad very much (still do, though he passed in 2003), he was a violent alcoholic. I won't go into more of the family saga because I'm not sure how helpful these dark stories are to other people and, in any case, I've told about my childhood a lot of times over my life. I have survived too, not without big scars, but there are much worse stories than mine.

Sorry you feel you are 'lucky to be allowed to exist'. It must be deeply painful when those feelings arise. I'm with you on not wanting to return to the paid workforce. For me it's because I've had big health crashes out of almost every one of the roughly 50 jobs I've had in my life, followed by longer and longer periods of deep depression and withdrawal. I haven't been well enough to work at all for years. But, as you know, I am keen to volunteer now that I'm starting to be well enough to do that. I agree too that working from home is very isolating. Like you I have a comfortable (if small) roof over my head for now, at least until the landlord has had enough of us, an inevitability with renting. I too am gathering a nice wardrobe of (mostly) second hand clothes. They might be a tad eccentric but I am like that too that so it suits me fine. I only very rarely eat out. It's a pretty good life aside from illness and even that is improving. So I 'shouldn't' complain either. But I still do. Especially here on the forum where it actually seems helpful to recovery to get things out.

Sending good wishes to you and everyone for today.

[Terry]

@Jacques Wow, no problem, dear Jacques.  Thanks!  Perhaps have a go at trying 10 mins meditation every morning (building up to 15 mins) and try the controlled breathing if you wake up at night.  I don't know about pushing yourself to exhaustion every day - that doesn't sound fun nor sustainable.  i fall asleep to the TV sometimes and then transfer myself to bed later on (i'm not sure that this is a good habit, though); and sleeping with the classical radio channel on softly in the background can be lovely too (i suspect this is a good habit).

i hope this helps! ps. warming milk releases enzymes in it which promote sleep. i wouldn't 'obsess' over the problem 'though.  mental health services enourage us to 'obsess' over mental health and related issues.  i don't know if any of this information will help you but i hope so - please pick and choose from it as you see fit.  best wishes from T 🙂

[Terry]

ps. @Jacques trying sleeping in a chair sounds like a good idea - and do try the meditation - meditation is very calming and it seems that your current problem is related to trouble keeping calm.  keeping busy is good but pushing yourself to exhaustion every day just wouldn't be fun ot sustainable. you could try 'meeting' the panic attack by jumping around vigorously when you feel an attack coming on to expend the energy that way. but i don't think i would 'obsess' on the problem.  it's not good for people with mental illnesses to be constantly focussed on 'what's wrong with them' and how to fix it, and that's what the mental health system encourages.  mind you, once society has forced us from the workplace, there's not much else to do but obsess over sleep.  I HAVE to get more volunteer work!  Wish me luck/say a prayer for me!

i dunno if any of this advice helps - i hope so.

[Terry]

@Mazarita Wow, what a neat post, and thank you for the compliments.  yes, you will even get discriminated against in volunteer jobs, so i do a volunteer job for a while (in-house ones, that is) and then QUIT and go to the BEACH!  If organisations think it's funny that some of their volunteers have disabilities then i will only work for them for a while (you can only work for them for a while, anyway - it's too depressing otherwise, working under those circumstances).  i would like a 'normal' worklife but i can't control other people and they discriminate against me, and the mental health system is awful.  i'm going to get a darned job at moment and i'm going to do it until they STOP discriminating against me *'resolve!' shakes little fists*

anyone want to give me a job?  just joking - i'm feeling positive about volunteer opportunities at the moment.  i know they're going to discriminate against me which means i can develop strategies and tactics to cope with it (I think, hope, and pray that i can, anyway.  i believe that i can).

ps. the black actor, sidney poitier, was a trail-blazer for black rights in his time, and viewed racism as the problem of the racist, and not his problem. it IS interesting to note 'though that he based his whole career on black rights inasmuch as nearly ALL his film roles (i think) were about race, in fact!  and he spend nearly all his adult life in psychotherapy so he had support.

yay for us!  we're the best!  'normal' people are weird!

[Terry]

@Mazarita ps. yes, most mental illness is caused by family dysfunction.

and re my personal situation: I am female, eccentric (different), sensitive, and bipolar - i get threatened, insulted, abused every day to some extent or other.  i am also a temperamental nightmare and that doesn't usually help my cause either!  so far so good; i am old now and have coped, and i have a roof over my head, food on the table, nice clothes, nice music to listen to, and i'm going to get a job now 🙂

[Terry]

@PeppiPatty Hi Peppi, i should be able to get some volunteer work. it 'sounds ridiculous' but my mindframe now is that i actually have to 'bluff my way' into volunteer work and when i get volunteer work i usually feel like i have 'bluffed my way' into it.  fit is all-important in the australian workplace and, as i have stated here before, i fit in extremely badly into this culture.  of course, i need work to stop going 'insane' and disappearing up my own fundament but i'm used to the idea (because i fit in so badly in australia) that i am 'lucky' to be allowed to exist at all (such is this culture and how badly i fit in).  naturally, this has affected my mindset.  i have been mercilessly bulled in australian workplaces and sometimes i feel like i'm darned if i want to go back to the workplace for more of a drubbing but working from home all the time is 'emotionally ruthless' too, and often leads to me not making an effort socially out-of-work-hours and, well, near-total isolation! *sigh*  Whatever!  Anyway, i shouldn't whinge at all, point blank, ever - i have a roof over my head (and my home is very nice too) and a free income which provides for much more than just food (i buy heaps of nice second hand clothes and can afford to eat out).  it's all pretty amazingly-wonderful!  why would any person with mental illness want to be in the paid workforce? - i even cop discrimination as a volunteer!

[Jacques]

Hi @Terry,

Thank you so much for the suggestions, i don't meditate of a morning, but i do have meditation sessions on my phone to help me relax of a night, i used to listen to music softly when i was asleep, maybe i should try that again, thank you for reminding me 🙂

@Terry, you sound like a sensitive soul, i know how hard it is with discrimination, i have been called everything under the sun for not being able to work, the trick i find is trying to stay away from people who are nasty and find a group of people whom understand or just like you for who you are.

I dispise religion emencly, but i would never make fun of you or put you down because you believe, if believeing or belonging ot a religion makes you happy and brings you peace then i am happy, i believe the old attage "live and let live", as long as someones life style does not infringe on my wellbeing, then let them be happy. 🙂

take care @Terry

Jacques

[PeppiPatty]

@Shaz51
looks like we all ..may see your husbands talents ?lol ......hope he says yes :0)
how are you ?
its 7:30 am : im finding im More better inside myself being in the forum family :
how are the 4 teenagers ? are they all still at home ?