Hearing you @Serezza .....

One of the addictions in our situations was wirkaholism, so I was a 'work widow' for many years ..... aka he left all the parenting to me while our children were in their formative years, to which I now say 'thank God !'.  Then we sold our business and the devaluation games began in  earnest, with 'positive' chaos and excitement as much as negative, which was also all part of the mask.  And an ED that were from over to highly restrictive patterns with food, and from no exercise to obsessive - night to day.  Mild control strategies became major.

Can you work wth a counsellor who specialises in NPD ?  One golden rule appears to be that it is a far better outcome for you if you can leave ahead of the discard, but it is also essential to have support, preferably professional support.  Only those schooled in narcissism can. Truly understand.  Those who are not simply get played."

Hugs n hugs @Serezza ..... take courage in small steps.