Thank you @Faith-and-Hope I'm grateful for you having been there before and therefore a comfort to me now, although I'm so sorry that you underwent what it looks like I may be going through right now, that my pain now may have been your own at one time. 

What if it is too late, and the discard stage has come to pass for me? What will that mean for me? 

In my relationship, I'm the workaholic because he doesn't work so I have to support the family. I get criticised for this by him but I don't know how to explain that I would have loved a husband who took responsibility of me and the kids so I could spend the time with our kids. He has trauma surrounding learning disorders and my education level is higher than his. Our son's education level has already surpassed his so I have to be the one assisting his learning anyway and I feel so guilty I don't have the time to help make him a stronger student. Although he's displaying some of the learning disorders similar to his father, his grades are above average in most of his subjects, which is the best that I can do while juggling work as well but I have no time to address the potential learning disorders which I feel so guilty about. And all my husband does all day is play on his computer with his online gaming community who he treats much better than us. And then when he says there's a woman on there who helps him forget his problems and trauma, who helps him be able to laugh as to imply that I couldn't do that wow I feel so devalued hey. He is now making plans to heal so he can be a stable person for her, and I don't think anything can surpass this betrayal. When I have put my needs last, waiting for his good side to overcome his narcissistic side, waiting for the signs of healing to come, only to see them finally arrive but alongside an intention to deny and refuse me any of its fruits. I'm a fcuknig mess at the moment and the hardest part now is making sure I grieve in private, to protect the kids.