Ambivalent

I have rent the veil at the altar of my Mother’s motherhood.

It feels full of fear and betrayal.

The edifice of Mother’s Love has collapsed.

And I am standing covered in the dust of 5 decades of ambivalence.

Hers and my own.

Neither of us Mothers.

Both trapped in a facsimile of mothering…

Now reversed in her aged, vulnerability and needs.

Because we must.

I too am ambivalent.

But, Love is an act of the will.

We are crushed by it.

She worshipped the *golden calf but was denied fecundity.

And I was the sacrifice.
___________________

MoonGal (c) August 2016

(*child birth).

PS: I do love my Mum.