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After crying for a while I went outside and watered the garden. The sun is out so it's nice. Maybe I could go out there and sit in the sun. You're right I need to focus on the here and now I need to get through today. Ok I can't worry about something that hasn't happened yet. And when I have it done I will wait for results. Although still a bit nervous. I'm now just lying on the lounge resting. Thank you both for your support