Burnt Out Wife, OCD and Anxiety Husband

[Shaz51]

Same here @HopefulWife 

We have even picked up things along  the  highway he may spot and have put them in the shed for the future  

[HopefulWife]

@Shaz51 

I'm glad he's not like that only buys things from shops but he also doesn't drive so he can't really stop and pick up things as I will just keep driving

[Shaz51]

That sounds like a positive @HopefulWife xx

I can not drive myself 

[HopefulWife]

@Shaz51 

Yeah it is a positive the not being able to pick up things from the side of the road but we do want to work on him driving again. At the moment it's a fear of OCD distraction and him crashing hurting us or someone else but once we get the OCD more under control. We can start working on him driving again

[NatureLover]

Hi @HopefulWife ...thanks for the tag @Shaz51 .

---

@HopefulWife wrote:

The anxiety is mainly when having to travel a distance from the house or not wanting to go anywhere by himself so we go everywhere together.

I have OCD (germophobia), Agoraphobia, Hoarding Disorder, and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. It sounds like your husband may have these? Agoraphobia is when you don't want to leave the house. I have it mild to moderate, so I can leave the house but I have to psych up for it, and then I can't go far or stay out too long. 

What form does your husband's OCD take? For instance, checking things like the stove or the door locks repeatedly, germophobia, counting constantly, asking someone the same question repeatedly...

I definitely need counselling and medication for my MIs (mental illnesses). I would think your husband would also benefit from counselling, as that is a huge load. It is impairing his functioning, plus impairing your functioning. 😞 Maybe medication too...how does he feel about medication? The meds are designed to alleviate the symptoms enough so that you can do counselling. 

I agree with the others on this thread who have encouraged you to get some time to yourself in any way you can...difficult as it sounds.

I'm sending you lots of good wishes, @HopefulWife ...

[HopefulWife]

@NatureLover 

His OCD and Anxiety seems to be the need to bring things with us that don't make sense when he is stressed such as to go to work he will bring his PJs, the towel he used for the morning shower and our Nintendo Switch. They all come in the car but don't get touch once in the car. 

He also has rituals where he does things in a particular order and if he does it wrong he will start again. He will also take random things of a certain number from his job when he leaves such as tissues or paper towel and puts them in his pocket until he gets home where they go in the bin.

I feel he may also have mild hoarding, mainly with things he might think he will need in the future and things from his childhood. For example he has all his old school books even though they are falling apart and most you cant even read. The oddest collection to me is a collection of deodorant spray cans which he has to touch each one in a certain order after a shower but it's forever growing as once they are empty, they don't go in the bin but he will buy a new one to actually use and added it into the ritual.

In terms of medication he hates the idea and refuses to use medication for fear of becoming dependable on it and making it harder to recover and the risk of relapsing being higher. He has recovered without medication and is determined to do it again. In terms of counseling he's believes it will be a waste of time and money as he has done it before and knows what they will tell him. He believes he knows what to do but just needs the strength to do it.

[NatureLover]

@HopefulWife  I am very sorry to hear all this. Especially about his refusal to have medication or counselling. I wish I could tell him that meds and counselling make it easier to cope, not harder. 

It sounds as if there is a lot of impairment in his life from these rituals and fears and obsessions. He must be consumed by fears. 😞

---

@HopefulWife wrote:

He believes he knows what to do but just needs the strength to do it.

---

(Speaking gently) I do think his level of MI does require help, especially as it's affecting your life negatively, let alone his own. 😞

Which puts you in an impossible situation...I'm really sorry to hear, @HopefulWife . 😞

At least we are here to listen and support you. 

[Shaz51]

hello @HopefulWife , how are you going today 

[HopefulWife]

The last couple of days have been good days. Relaxing and easy which is nice

[Shaz51]

That is good to hear @HopefulWife 

My husband goes round in cycles , up and then down