having a bad morning

[Decadian]

Hi @Shaz51

How are you getting along?

I have had birds in my rear courtyard - which is very small - and used to be full of vines - but the Ministry of Housing insisted they be cut down and there were baby birds nesting there - and they were ring-necked doves and protected so the men who came and cut the vines back had to leave that bit until later

So these baby ring-necked doves goes used to me and when the parent birds were teaching them to fly I got to pick the babies up and put them back in the nest - and this was amazing

Then when they were fully fledged they would sometimes follow me down the drive - with the parent birds watching - this was really special -

And before that one very wet and bleak spring I had a blackbirds' nest outside my bathroom window in a vine - and they got very cramped in there - when they came out of the nest they were so big I have no idea how crowded it must have been - but those babies never came back - it's a hard world for baby birds when there are so many cats around

I hope you and your husband are battling okay @Shaz51 - I know you both have health problems and life can't be easy

Decadian

[Decadian]

Thanks @BlueBay

I am taking things quietly - I will get over this - it is unpleasant while it lasts but I do have a talent for bouncing back

After reading your posts I think I understand that you are also emotionally fragile but you have life hitting your right and left and in the middle as well and you never know when a wave is going to crash over you - and this makes you tense - just as I never know when TS is going to do whatever she feels a need to do - I get tense when I have had to see her or deal with her for whatever reason

Actually - I think I have a grasp on life that she does not - she says the strangest things - eg - one Christmas I asked her if she would like to hook up for a coffee and she said she would not be free until May. Of course I have never asked her again - I might die of thrist if I waited to have a coffee with her

But where you are atm - you do have it tough - but I think in time you will make it out of there - even though you are overwhelmed at times - yes - you will

But sitting by the beach is a good idea - I have to walk about half an hour to get to the beach so I don't go that far often - but I would like to - this has been such a long winter and so much wind I haven't even though I want to - but I must get myself into gear and do that - I have to go down to the shopping centre a couple of times a week and often walk - so I must do that - wathing the sea is very soothing and walking on the wet sand is good for the feet - also - years ago I started collecting weathered glass and I have it in a lovely glass container - I would like to collected more

So over the last couple of days I have not really had much to give anyone - today I think I must be feeling better although it has taken me a long time to get up and get on with the day.

Thinking about you though

Decadian

[Shaz51]

Hello @Decadian

thank you for your message

Hubby was sooo tired yesterday , he didn`t know why , he talked about it last night

this morning he said he was feeling very nervious , so we did one  job  and we are home having a sleep , he is feeling soo tired again

this is one of the honeyeaters that sit at my kitchen window when I am washing up , she sits there and looks at me

[BlueBay]

I'm sick of my therapist and psych. No one listens to me.
How much more do I have to cry for help.
What's the damn point in trying.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I know it feels that way in this moment @BlueBay .... but that is part of the reason you are seeing them in the first place .... this struggling with feelings of hopeless that come over you at times .....

Use the strategies you have learned @BlueBay .... get yourself up and our of the house .... go and clean something viceroyalty .... pick up your knitting .....

It's not going to solve all the problems but it will contribute to your healing by moving you forward from this mindset you're in .....

The point is ....we believe in you .....

Just keep swimming. This moment and these feelings will pass ....

Sending you lots of hugs .... 😘❤

[Faith-and-Hope]

Ummmm ...... viceroyalty ..... ???

My auto-correct on my phone is having a field-day here .....

That was supposed to be "clean something vigerously " ..... !!!

Viceroyalty ...,. 😳😜😝

[Decadian]

I love the bird @Shaz51 - and that's fine about the messages - I am finding my feet here in a new world - for although I don't have an MI myself - I have a lot of emotional discomfort - and I am really learning a great deal here and grateful for the chance to learn all of this

So I know you not only have poor health yourself - your husband does too - and he has an MI and it is obvious - he panics a lot - so this is a while new  world - as I said

And I love the honeyeater - what a beautiful bird

And @BlueBay

I know this is hard - crying out for help and not getting it - actually I have learned something important over the last few days as well - some of which I can share

Like telling a friend how upset I was about TS - but I had to go deep inside myself about that - really deep - and found that no matter what anyone says to me - I have to search the pain - feel the sorrow - and learn what it is that is eating me from the inside out

And yes - TS has gone too far - I found that if I listened to my friend who could not see why I was feeling so destroyed - I had to learn I was feeling grief - I can no longer tolerate TS's behaviour - I never asked for it - it has always come from her - it is below me - and when I knew this was over I grieved.

So where this fits with you I can't tell - but you were not far from my mind when I had a couple of bad nights and woke up feeling really done in. What was it?

And yes - I think you are grieving the way your mother's behaviour has affected your life - your are grieving your mother and your father and your well being and so much anguish has sprung up with the grief.

I had to think a long, long time - this is a hard post for me to write - but we do not give ourselves over to the enemy for them to destroy us

We like you - we love you here - so many of us care - and this would not happen if we did not perceive you to be a kind and gentle person - you have been so hurt

And neither of us deserve this - no one does - many people suffer here - you and I have this in common - I feel very close to you

Decadian

[BlueBay]

Morning @Faith-and-Hope

This morning is so nice and sunny.  Took Jersey girl down the beach for a play, she loved it.  But was a bit anxious about the other dogs.  Hubby cracked it because we had to use his car (station wagon) and that would mean that he would have to vaccum the car once we got home!!!  Bad luck, that's what wagons are for - to put dogs in.

I have done some washing and cleaned the house a little.  I want to wash the windows outside. So that will be my next job.

I need to stay busy.  We bumped into my uncle last night at the pizza place.  We may catch up this afternoon as they would like to see our kids.  So we'll see how we go with that.  If not it doesn't matter as they come down often now.

What are you doing today?  How is your family and husband?

[utopia]

@BlueBay. Sounds like a nice start to the day. Walking Jersey along the beach.
I'm about to head up to the hills and just sit and breathe and relax. So I hope to talk with you later.
Enjoy the rest of your day.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sounds lovely @BlueBay ....
good on you !! ..... and staying busy is a good idea .....

My hubby is rattled. Doc told him yesterday to stop all jogging and weighs until his eye is checked out by a specialist on Monday .....

He is allowed gentle walks only, which is a
huge knock to his regimen and his self esteem .... so far he seems to be managing. Have to just take one step at a time.

Weather here is swinging between sunshine and rain. On my walk anyway ....

😊💕