Night Shift

[eth]

Thanks @Mazarita hope your trip is a success and you and your Mum enjoy each other's company.  When I visit my Mum I find I just have to choose to take a deep breath sometimes and not challenge her like I did when I was younger.  It's easier just to choose peace.  And have a little time out from each other here and there.  My Mum is quite eccentric, very hyper at times, and an evangelical Christian - she really can push my buttons but I've decided to comit to having a relationship with her after a long break and we've gradually become closer and more accepting of each other over the last few years. 

You must be busy getting ready today - best wishes for a happy journey.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Shaz51

What a typical symptom of your husband. He is so lucky he has you but it's sad but he needs to take his medication.

I had a tantrum on my Mum and she cut me off her facebook account and Im getting support. Shes a nighmare but Im focusing on my son, not her. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @PeppiPatty, it is good that you are focusing on your son because I think your mum is set in her ways which  is sad

yes my hubby has panic attacks , and things that people say and do  goes around and around in his head alll the time , he has anxiety attacks that he thinks he is not good enough and he get flattered over what people says

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Shaz51 How people use words do make a difference in our lives.  Adult self esteem shouldnt be too easily effected by praise or criticism, but it is.  We all flourish better with positivity but there are also lines in the sand to be drawn.  Hope you both are ok

@eth Great to see you back. I missed you. Felt we had a bit in common, but computers can be a nuisances.  Hope its fixed.  Mine is probabaly due for an upgrade soon. It is 4 years old.  Let us know how you have been.. has it been a few months?

My son's computer cost twice as much mine and last half as long???  Never mind.

@PeppiPatty I think you are good at getting support. It is important that you concentrate on your son. Yes sometimes grown women have tantrums: your mum, you. I I wish it was better for you but your patterns of reacting are probably ingrained, and people outside the family unit cant really judge. It is sad the at human suffering is caused by competitions over who loved another person the most. I had one in January because I was being forced out of accomodation that I had paid for and been hospitable with by an overly eager miss you had the big bed while I had the couch.  Sometimes young women dont realise how pushy they can be.  Hope your boy learns his life lessons and starts to flourish.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Appleblossom, thank you for your words , My hubby  is feeling low tonight , he has gone to bed  to try to sleep , but i am feeling a bit worried

I am waiting for the washing to finish then i can hang it out and go to bed too

[Appleblossom]

Ah .. all the little jobs ...

Sleep well .. time for me to go to bed too.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi All,

For the first time in a long time...I's getting back on the band wagon. I didnt need to work this morning and catching up on emails. Son, Husband and me had coffe this moroing with Arlo, it was very nice. I live on a cafe strip of my part of town so thats very nice and groovy......we went to a 'worker's cafe of an Italian Family who have lived in the area for squillions of years, since the WW1-WW2 influx of migrants who arrived in Australia and did all the work to make up Australia. 

Enlough of the little history lesson I have no idea where is going.......

@Shaz51 I am like this but since Ive seen my Psychiatrist, he put me on mood stabilizer tablets which.....are great. They calm me down and esp. with my son's issues have been very beneficial. Maybe, you can suggest a med starting with E. At his Gp or something. They are extremely beneificial and @Chookmojo and @Mazarita are really good advisors on that type of stuff. Im very impressed with @Chookmojo was of defining how she deals with issues which she describes on a thread I started called Support for forum formites. 

@eth it's cool to see you back. How is the homeswest housing going? Im going okay, Im looking forward to getting an inspection and find out whether when I win lotto if I can get the rooms painted. 

@Appleblossom Your comments are correct. B........ h......yes, you confronting little right woman with the patterns. I sent my Mum three messages and then the next day sent a sorry but my pionters are very valid vbecause I dont like you putting my son down and telling me. Can we meet for a coffee  ??

but the drama continues in her head. I sent all communication to my son so he knows what Ive written to her so he doesnt get overwhelmed with anything. 

We all had coffee together and both of them....except Arlo just for the usual...dont drive like that ! Indicate! usual stuff. I hear you nodding and laughing.

Howa re you today darlin ?

[Appleblossom]

Slow @PeppiPatty  a little flat. Only managed a half hour of recorder practise at my end of house.

Not sure what B...h... means?

Bach piano preludes are nice in the background that my son put on before his shower.  I relinquished control of my airwaves a long time ago (always agreed for sake of peace) but at least I like what he chooses.  I compromise myself almost to the point of no existence. Most of these pieces my son has heard me play over the years, though I am no concert pianist.

It takes me days to reclaim my studio and even feel like playing. I let him use it Sunday, so maybe I will play piano a bit.  I have a recorder bit and piano accompanying in the reading this Saturday. So I will do what is needed, but I feel nauseous and sad.

I am dreading more of the insolence of the young woman who is coming over to spend 4 nights here. She has offered to cook one night but told me I would cook the next night. So bossy and controlling when I had felt enthusiasm and care for her. I almost feel like withdrawing and eating by myself, if my generosity and hospitality and sharing of food becomes used in a manipulative way. In the train, I just said that she can take advantage of my softness but be cutting in her comments.  She seems set on a battle over my son's heart.  He is not even sure he wants her as a girlfriend.  She constantly physically wraps herself around him then looks at me ... daring ... I think I am going to have to say something to her father at the reading.

Yesterday the little fellow who wrecked the plants came along to a neighbourly discussion eagerly looking for positive attention. We gave it to him, cos he is gorgeous, but he also knows we were hurt by his destruction. It would not be worth discussing it with his parents. The kids are pretty feral, no shoes,no shirt, riding bikes etc, parents screaming etc It would accomplish zilch talking to the parents. Best be kind to the kid when I see him, stand firm on values and hope for the best.

[Appleblossom]

@PeppiPatty its great your family went for coffee.  Its important to have little moments.

I had been wondering what you were up to. I miss your presence when you dont post as much on the forums.

I dont know what to say about your mother. I really dont have a clue.  You have to do what you think and feel is right.  It is just so sad, I see such a waste of possiblities when mothers and daughters cant get along, but I cant stretch myself any further and maybe you shouldnt either.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @Appleblossom
Yes I agree on stretching yourself.... over mum.
My son is talking about going to the Police and I'll support him on this one.
It's so sad. I think that you are as sensitive as me Apple. I like how you are with the barefoot scallywag. Blooming heck!
Perhaps it's best if the girl... she gets told straight away that you enjoy living your life not being told when to cook? My husband's doctor and nurse came over today and they are just really wonderful